Case of Rabbi Mordecai Tendler
(AKA: Mordy Tendler, Mordechai Tendler)
(Originally known as the case of the unnamed "Well Known Rabbi")
Founder and Former Rabbi of Kehillat New Hempstead
New Hempstead, NY
"According to the Chafetz Chayim in his vital sefer Shmiros Halashon (klal 4 halacha 7-8,7:65) it is permitted and even obligatory to record and and even a mitzvah--good deed to publicize the information contained herein:"
This case started during the
question-and-answer session of a Makor forum on rabbinic
abuse, (back in December, 2003) several female health-care professionals
in the audience spoke with passion and frustration about a well-known rabbi
in their local community whose affairs with women in his office, they said,
have gone on for years.
The speakers said they felt stymied as to how to take action against the unnamed rabbi, who is highly respected, and help the women involved, who are too embarrassed to speak out.
Several sources have informed the Forward newspaper that a number of women have told friends and Jewish communal figures that Rabbi Mordechai Tendler, who is married with eight children, had propositioned them while serving in his role as either rabbinic counselor or religious arbiter."Rabbi Tendler denies all of the allegations that are being made in their entirety," the spokesman wrote in a statement sent to the Forward. "No misconduct was committed by him."
Rabbi Tendler is the founder and religious leader of Kehillat New Hempstead, a Modern Orthodox congregation near Monsey. According to the Foward article: Sources familiar with the situation say that the RCA has solicited the services of a private investigations firm from Texas to probe the allegations against Tendler."We take all these allegations very seriously and certainly don't want to whitewash it," said Rabbi Kenneth Auman, president of the RCA. "On the other hand, we also have to bear in mind the protection of the accused, and therefore I would prefer to wait with a statement, until we hear the final report."
According to sources of The Awareness Center the RCA hired Praesidium, Inc, which is a risk management company that was also used by the catholic church.
Rabbi Mordechai Tendler is a a grandson of the late Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the Orthodox world's most respected religious arbiter for much of the 20th century
The following information was adapted from information provided by
NCCASA, in an attempt to better understand
the allegations being made against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler.
Sexual assault is not about sex, it is a way for the offender to gain a sense of power and control. Most offenders use manipulation and coercion in which physical force, a verbal threat, intimidation and/or blaming the victim is used to force sexual acts.
Anyone can become a victim of sexual assault regardless of gender, race, religious affiliation, age, or economic status. There are numerous forms of sexual assault, the most common occurs when a person known to the victim-a friend, co-worker, partner, or family member-forces unwanted, and or manipulated sexual acts.
Sexual harassment is any deliberate or repeated sexual behavior that is unwelcome to its recipient, as well as other sex-related behaviors that are hostile, offensive, or degrading.
Sexual violence is a crime that often leaves the sexual assault victims feeling physically and mentally violated. Reactions range from shock and denial to panic and confusion. Survivors may experience feelings of fear, anger, grief, guilt, shame, and loss of control. Some survivors may also feel helpless, depressed, and possibly even suicidal. While survivors commonly experience these feelings, each person will have a unique response to the assault. Sexual Violence is about power and control over another human being. It is disrespect. It takes away an individuals decision to do what (s)he feels is right for her/himself.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a
debilitating health condition that does not allow an individual to move pass
a traumatic event that has occured in his or her life and progress in recovery,
returning to a more normal life. When someone faces a life-threatening or
traumatic situation (s)he may have difficulties overcoming the effects associated
with the event. Individuals suffering from PTSD may re-live the event in
the form of nightmares or intrusive thoughts and images that pop into their
head. They may suffer from chills, uncontrollable shaking and panic attacks
when something triggers a memory, smell, or other sensation related to the
traumatic event.
Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation
or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet
their own personal needs.
2002
Agunah Flier (04/28/2002)
2003
Letter sent out to the Public (Summer 2003)
Letter: Law Offices of Bradley J Rephen, PC (08/04/2003)
Letter: Law Offices of Bradley J. Rephen, PC (08/20/2003)
"The Day the Rabbi Went to Jail" Panel at Makor (12/07/2003)
Curbing Rabbinic Abuse (12/19/2003)
2004
Me writes about the Rabbi Mordecai Tendler scandal (08/25/2004)
Rabbinical Council Is Probing Claims of Sexual Harassment (08/27/2004)
Orthodox rabbi probed for harassment (08/29/2004)
The Forward`s Orthodox Bashing:The Latest Installments (09/02/2004)
Rabbinic Abuse Case Hits Snag (12/10/2004)
The Orthodox-Bashing Never Ends: The Jewish Week Follows, The Forward`s Lead (12/15/2004)
Major Rabbinical Council Slammed For Releasing Names in Sexual Abuse Case (12/17/2004)
2005
Rabbi Expelled From RCA (03/21/2005)
In rabbinical sexual abuse case, some see shift in Orthodox attitudes (03/22/2005)
Bring pen and paper: Kehilat New Hempstead membership meeting (03/27/2005)
New summary of Rabbi Mordechai Tendler investigation by the RCA/Praesidium (03/28/2005)
Congregants Stand By Rabbi Tendler (03/30/2005)
Jerusalem Regional Bet Din vs. RCA (04/01/2005)
Jerusalem Regional Bet Din - Decision (04/05/2005)
An Inappropriate Process (04/06/2005)
Jewish Family Services of Rockland County - Rabbi Mordecai Tendler (04/07/2005)
RCA - Statement in the Matter of the Investigation ofRabbi Mordecai Tendler (04/12/2005)
Survivors of Mordecai Tendler Please Speak Out! (04/12/2005)
RCA Answers Tendler Charges (04/13/2005)
Israeli Chief Rabbinate Tells RCA: Reinstate Rabbi Tender A Tale of Lies and Midwives (04/14/2005)
The Tendler Nine (04/14/2005)
Editorial: Fathers, Sons, and DNA: Why Did the RCA Go after Rabbi Tendler? (04/14/2005)
RCA: Supplementary Statement on Rabbi Mordecai Tendler (04/19/2005)
An Inappropriate Process (Part IV) (04/28/2005)
Taking Stock Of The RCA`s Tendler Debacle (05/04/2005)
Jewish Press: Letter to the Editor - By Vicki Polin (05/04/2005)
Jewish Press - By Yosef Blau (05/04/2005)
UPDATE: Jewish Family Services of Rockland County (04/29/2005)
An Open Letter to the Jewish Community Regarding the Investigation and Expulsion of Rabbi Mordecai Tendler (06/27/2005)
The RCA Sends A Letter (06/30/2005)
Rumors regarding The Awareness Center (06/30/2005)
Orthodox Rabbinical Union Defends Expulsion of Member (07/01/2005)
The Rabbinical Council of America Responds to the Hazmanah issued by a Jerusalem Regional Court (07/13/2005)
Hebrew Response (07/13/2005)
Confronting The Story — Or Shooting The Messenger? (08/03/2005)
Law Suit Filed Against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler (12/20/2005)
Rabbinic Committee Formed to Expose Mordecai Tendler (12/24/2005)
Letter from Rabbi Mordecai Tendler to the RCA (03/16/2004)
'Messiah' gave sex therapy sessions (12/25/2005)
Woman Charges Tendler In Sex Harassment Case (12/28/2005)
Orthodox Rabbi Sued by Former Congregant (12/30/2005)
Letter from Rabbi Shmuel Fuerst Supporting Rabbi Mordecai Tendler
2006
Rabbi Tendler Suspended From Monsey Synagogue (03/01/2006)
Sex scandal brewing over a rabbi - Video (03/01/2006)
Rabbi Mordecai Tendler Files Libel Suit in Rabbinical Court (03/01/2006)
Prominent rabbi fights suspension (03/02/2006)
Synagogue Suspends Rabbi Tendler (03/03/2006)
Randy Rabbi Reels (03/05/2006)
Tendler Resigns Under Cloud (03/07/2006)
Another Tendler Steps Down (04/07/2006)
URGENT CALL TO ACTION: Mordecai Tendler to Speak in Har Nof (07/04/2006)
Defrocked rabbi's lecture cancelled after threats (07/06/2006)
Public Citizen - News Release (07/07/2006)
A rabbi is petitioning to unveil the identities of anonymous authors of Web logs Civil Liberties (07/09/2006)
Rabbi Challenges Right to Anonymity on Internet (07/13/2006)
Rabbi Drops Bid To Out Bloggers (07/19/2006)
Disgraced US Rabbi drops legal challenge to identify bloggers (07/21/2006)
Letter from Rabbi Mordecai Tendler to The Honorable Neal A. Cabrinha (11/15/2006)
Tendler Vs. Doe - Attorney Fees Granted (01/04/2006)
2007
2008
Also see:
Related Cases:
Related Information:
When A Family Member Molests: Reality, Conflict, and The Need For Support
Background Information and The History of Rabbinical Ordinations
Cases Connected to the Feinstein - Tendler - Weinberg Families, and or Ner Israel of Baltimore
Alleged and Convicted Sex Offenders Connected to Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach
July 8, 2005
The Awareness Center is providing the following to help the average reader better understand the political arena the alleged survivors, witnesses and victim advocates have been subject to.
When dealing with an alleged or convicted sex offender from a powerful and or prestigious family, certain political influences can and do effect a case.
The majority of individuals around the globe from the non-orthodox world may not be familiar the Tendler family name. In the charedi (religious) world, the family is thought of by many as being "rabbinic royalty". Unfortunately this fact has complicated this case immensely.
As in most cases, it is a very difficult to deal with situations of sexual violence when a loved one is the alleged offender. Think about it—what would you do if you suspected that someone you are related to or are friends with is sexually inappropriate? Would you talk to him/her about it? Would you tell another family member or friend? Would you share it with your rabbi? Would your rabbi know what to do? Would you seek professional help or advice? Should you keep quiet to protect your family member or sound the whistle to protect another? How would your community react if they knew someone in your family allegedly sexually victimized another? Would your community's expected reaction influence any decision you'd make? These are just few of the numerous dilemmas and questions regularly posted to The Awareness Center.
Dealing with alleged and convicted sex offenders and their family members presents complex ethical issues. What can be harder than being the mother or the father of a sex offender?
Denial is clearly the first line of defense, because who in their right mind wants to believe that their offspring, someone they love and care for, could hurt a child? How can a parent even think of supposedly relinquishing their instinct to protect their child by reporting him or her to the authorities? It is a terrible dilemma. Could you as a parent turn your child over to the police? Could you force an adult child of yours into sex offender treatment? And what would friends and other family members think if they learned that you were the parent of a sexual predator? A similar between a rock and a hard place is the reality for people who are married to sex offenders.
What about the stigma and shame if anyone learned your secret, learned that you married, live with and or bed such a person? And what about the children of a sex offender—how would you feel if you were one? How would you face your friends, schoolmates, or co-workers once your parent's criminal behavior was made public? Would you still be allowed in your friends' homes? Would you still have friends? Would you and your siblings face shunning and stigma come marriage age?
These heartbreaking and complicated issues are real, and need to be addressed. We need to address them as a community. Every alleged and convicted sex offender has parents, family, friends and colleagues—people who are close to him/her and are faced with this reality, often unprepared, and in many ways, also victimized, hurt, confused, disillusioned, and ashamed.
Do you know of a family member or friend of an alleged or convicted sex offender? It is critical that you don't turn your backs on them. They need your support. Put yourself in their place. If you were one, what would you need?
The spouse of an alleged and/or convicted sex offender may need financial support while the offender is in prison and or treatment. If there are children in the home, the non-abusive spouse may have to keep them away from the offender to keep them safe. Can you imagine the feelings of anger, shame, guilt, and fear that the non-offending parent will need to deal with?
Every member of a family of alleged and/or convicted sex offenders will need the community's emotional, financial, and spiritual support. And what a difference such support can make in the healing process of non-offending family members; versus them being shunned for their "association" with a sexual predator and/or for helping to stop the abuse.
There is no doubt that we all have a moral obligation to help stop sexual violence so that offenders cease to victimize and the victims receive the healing they deserve. Whether we know the offender or not, hiding, denying and covering up his or her actions make us accomplices to the crime. At the same time, the pain of having a family member or friend who is an alleged or convicted sex offender has to be one of the hardest pains to bear. It is also our moral obligation, as a community, to offer a holding environment (not shunning and shame) for all families torn by abuse—those of the victims, and that of the offender.
Sunday, April 28, 2002
Please note: You'll note the names of keynote speakers include: Rabbis Mordechai Tendler and Ephraim Bryks. FYI: Rabbi Bryks was un-invited from this event after behind the scenes efforts.
Summer 2002
http://www.lukeford.net/profiles/profiles/mordecai_tendler.htm
To Whom It May Concern:
We are a group of rabbis, mental health professionals, and physicians coming from a wide range of religious observance within the Orthodox world, who are very concerned about a serious situation in your community.
This is a letter to warn you to protect your daughters, wives, and other vulnerable women in the community from a very dangerous rabbi. This rabbi wears the clothes and publicly acts out the role of a very devout Orthodox Jew, presiding at levayas and simchos, answering halachic shailos, counseling individuals and families, abut in private has had numerous sexual affairs with many women - vulnerable, distraught, battered or emotionally disturbed women who had unknowingly come to him for counseling and guidance, for kiruv, or to learn more about Yiddishkeit. These women do not know each other, but doctors, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, as well a many rabbis in our community and even gedolim in Eretz Yisrael know who they are - for these women each sought their counsel as they were severely traumatized by having a sexual involvement with a rabbi of this stature - often in his study while his wife and children sleep or were not at home, and often while other women waited outside his office. Both married and single women, and even teenage girls have been stalked or propositioned, then were threatened and intimidated if they came forward.
There is a growing concerted effort by community rabbis, gedolim, professionals and lay people in the community who know or who have become involved with helping these women to prevent future occurrences. Many shul members have left or are moving away. There are many who know but are afraid to act, because others who did were threatened. This rabbi even paid a large sum of money to one of the women to be quiet, because she had a lot taped and written pieces of evidence and was "talking to much," but there is mounting evidence that cannot be discounted, and many more reliable and credible witnesses to these incidences are surfacing.
Because of this rabbi's heinous actions, there are people who have gone off the derech, marriages have been destroyed, weddings canceled. Some victims were so traumatized that they needed to be hospitalized. Many of the rabbonim in the area meet periodically to discuss this terrible problem within our midst. And are doing extensive research and compiling the evidence into a large written report, and are in consultation with gedolim in Eretz Yisroel. They have stated that it is a matter of pikuach nefesh to inform you of this problem, and is therefore not in the category of Lashon Hora.
We must protect the women in the community from the sick and evil behavior of this man who is himself a rabbi. His name is Mordecai Tendler. He continues to deny the allegations despite the mounting evidence that confronts him. But not only is he denying it, but he has gone to great lengths to cover up his tracks with lies, threats and pay-offs. Your shul must find a way to force this man to step down from his position as a community rabbi, and he must be pressured into seeking treatment. This should be done expeditiously ass we are trying to prevent certain outraged individuals from taking these stories to the Jewish Week, or even worst, more secular media, which would be a terrible Chilul Hashem, and would be even more hurtful to his poor family-although would be a worse Chilul Hashem to allow him to continue to harm more women and their families.
Do your own research! Speak to some of the other rabbis in the area, as well as some of the people who have left the shul - and therapists and doctors in the Monsey area, as well as in Brooklyn, Manhattan and even Israel. Not everyone in the Monsey area knows about this yet, but many do so don't stop your investigation with just one person who might have limited or no knowledge of this horrific situation. The following was sent out to threaten those who were agitating against rabbi Mordecai Tendler:
Summer 2003
http://www.lukeford.net/profiles/profiles/mordecai_tendler.htm
To whom it may concern:
There is a great danger in our community that has no bounds to the potential harm that has been caused and may be caused in the future.
There are two women who present themselves as "mid-wives". They encourage those that are economically struggling that there is an alternative to the traditional safe and sterile environment of a hospital to deliver a baby they have solicited business among those that are desperate and believe they have no choices. They have lied, mislead, deceived and endangered those that were unfortunate enough to believe them. The results have been devastating.
On many occasions the environment where they delivered a child was not correctly sanitized or sterilized. Such carelessness has lead to infections and complications for both the mother and newborn child. On other occasions the instruments used by these "mid-wives" were not properly sterilized from the previous births. These unclean instruments caused additional infections and complications.
Further harm has been caused by their questionable skill level and failure to continue their training beyond the minimum level required for certification. Their "delivery room" has failed inspection by the State of New York on two occasions in the last six months. Despite all of this, these women continue to practice their witchcraft totally unsupervised and accountable to no one.
These women are _________ and __________. They must be stopped.
Please spread the word to all that there is a great danger to those that rely on _______ and _______. the lives of both the mothers and newborn children are at risk. Help us save lives. Stop _____________ and _____________.
I understand the RCA wants to re-interview many of the women who first testified against Tendler as well as women who have yet to testify. I hear that the RCA believes that the Praesidium private investigators (Joan Hickerson) report on Tendler won't be sufficient to boot him from the RCA. Tendler has assembled a formidable legal team that is adept at describing the women who accuse Tendler as crazies, drug addicts, etc.
Letter: Law Offices of Bradley J Rephen,
PC
August 4, 2003
Letter: Law Offices of Bradley J. Rephen,
PC
October 20, 2003
"The Day the Rabbi Went to Jail" Panel at
Makor
By Steven I Weiss
Protocols Blogspot - December 7, 2003
http://protocols.blogspot.com/2003_12_07_protocols_archive.html
[I attended this event on rabbinic abuse with my new Treo 600
(hence the picture) and laptop. This dispatch is yet another experiment in
covering J-news at a J-blog. There's no reasonable comparison with other
coverage for this story since no other J-paper would cover an event sponsored
by the New York Jewish Week, and the NYJW itself would likely only cover
it in an editor's column -- if at all. All the same, it was a coverage-worthy
event, and one that took place on Wednesday, which means the earliest any
J-weekly would have a story on it would be a week from today. The event started
at 7:30, ended at 9:15, had mingling afterwards, and I got home at 11:00
PM; this dispatch is being posted at 1:45 AM -- a 4.5-hour turn-around].
This panel convened tonight at Makor to discuss issues of abuse in the rabbinate. Gary Rosenblatt, Editor of the New York Jewish Week, was the moderator, and the panelists were Arthur Magida, author of The Rabbi and the Hit Man, R' Yosef Blau, Mashgiach Ruchani ("Spiritual Overseer") of Yeshiva University, and Dr. Michelle Friedman, Chair of Pastoral Counseling at Yeshivat Chovevei Torah.
The panel was something of a turning point in the discussion of rabbinic abuse, as it did not come on the heels of any majorscandal and was explicitly focused on what will come of what the Jewish community has learned in the past few years; as Rosenblatt put it in his opening remarks, "What concerns me most is whether if the situation were to present itself again tomorrow, whether the community would do a better job of handling it," adding that he wanted, "Not so much rehash the cases that have made the headlines over the years, but what can be done to prevent future cases."
As Rosenblatt introduced the panelists, one reality that presented itself was how both Friedman and Blau are allowed to accomplish somewhat similar ends with rabbinical students; the primary difference is that while students must pass muster with Friedman, Blau will mostly oversee those students who come to him voluntarily, a self-selection that means certain quality students will become of a yet higher quality by meeting with Blau, but that the lesser-quality students, who are less likely to seek out Blau, will get even less tutelage.
With Magida's introduction, I wondered why, exactly he was there. The case of convicted felon Rabbi Fred Neulander, who plotted the murder of his wife, is not a case of abuse of the rabbinate so much as it is a story of a rabbi gone wrong. What, exactly, his story lends to our understanding of rabbinic abuse is unclear. Magida made some relevant contributions when he discussed the harm done to adherents simply by their rabbi having committed such atrocious, but while this condition is similar to cases of rabbinic abuse for the non-victims, the Neulander case is not so relevant as to warrant study for understanding the impact of rabbinic abuse; were there too few rabbinic abuse cases to study for these effects, perhaps the Neulander case would be needed to fill gaps, but unfortunately this is not the case.
Friedman described her program at Chovevei. "It has a didactic component, and it has a provisional component," she explained. Speaking of Chovevei's expectations for its rabbis, she said, "We want them to have an impact, and to do that, [they] have to get close to people." She noted that, "The job...has very few boundaries," such that there ceases to be much of a line between, "their personal lives and their professional lives." She emphasized a realistic approach to training rabbis, saying, "It's not a question of if they'll be provoked, but how and how often," and explained that they tell students when confronted with provocative situations, "the first things you do is take your own pulse, your own emotional pulse...which I don't want them to share with the congregant." Future rabbis should, "Be aware of the enormous power tha people invest in the rabbi," and that in order to properly affect congregants, "Every rabbi not only is going to be, but should be, in provocative situations."
Rosenblatt then asked Blau to explain the power the rabbinate holds.
Blau began by emphasizing that, among all denominations, "the rabbinate is extremely important in Judaism." Blau suggested that the rabbinate is vulnerable to cultivating abusive members because, "individuals become rabbis by going through a program which is essentially academic and intellectual in nature," in which is maintained the sometimes-false "Assumption that they wouldn't want to be rabbis unless they were seriously committed, of high moral character." Problems almost always arise, Blau opined, when "A community identifies the rabbi with being god-like." He said it is often assumed that members of the Jewish clergy are both, "A rabbi and a tzaddik," however, while "we like to think it's true, but there's no reason why automatically it's true."
Moving to the problem of policing abusive situations that are already known, Rosenblatt said, "We don't really have an institutional framework to deal with cases," that, "Most of the time a rabbi may be terminated quietly but without any indication of what went on, and they'll move on," to other positions elswhere. At this last comment, nearly all members of the audience were fiercely nodding.
Friedman avoided the question of how to police abuse, focusing on the need for a preventative approach that must take place, "At all levels," most significanly by developing "appropriate training programs." Friedman mentioned that one such promising program is the Wexner program at Yeshiva University, "Which," she opined, "Hopefully will be brought to train all the students." She made the rather significant assertion that the presence of such programs, "Has withered more than it has grown." She said that communities, as well, need to engage in preventing potentially-abusive rabbis from taking positions by making their communal acumen a condition of their employment. "People have a right to say...well, what has your training been?" she declared, offering that community members should make inquiries regarding not only whom the candidate might seek halakhic opinions from, but also, "Who might you turn to if you have a psychological question?" As well, in addition to seeking out candidates who have, "A great head for learning," Friedman wants communities to seek candidates possessing, "Skills that are often associated with social services and psychology."
Blau cited three problems that allow rabbinic abuse to fester, after noting that, "When we use the term rabbi," for discussions of abuse we should include in that definition, "Not only pulpit rabbis," but teachers, cantors and sexons, and all those charged with developing the ritual and intellectual development of the community's membership. Blau said that the three problems facing the Jewish community are "tremendous denial;" the fact that, "The Jewish community still retains a measure of insecurity about their acceptance in the general American society," such that, "If there's a problem, they don't want it to come out;" and, lastly, "A tremendous reluctance to utilize secular authorities," when abuse is known. Regarding this last point, Blau mentioned the concept of mesirah, explaining it as a moral clause suggesting that traitorous Jews not turn over co-religionists to anti-Semitic governments, but that this concept has no application in cases of rabbinic abuse, "Since abusers are dangerous to victims and to others." Blau admitted that, "Our own internal mechanism is not really geared towards dealing with such behavior," for various reasons, including its inability to conduct forensic investigations. He said that the Jewish community in America should be compelled to recognize these shortcomings, "So that we are open about our problems, are willing to take advantage," of those services available to the community, "Including police and incarceration, if necessary."
Rosenblatt asked for clarification as to whether "It is clear in Jewish law," that "worry of abuse" supercedes concepts like mesirah, or whether there is some kind of "Gray area."
"No, I don't think it's gray at all," Blau responded, saying that abuse is too often rationalized in the Jewish community, which he attributed to his contention that, "Many of us are not trained to understand the nature of abuse, and how pernicious it really is." He said that when abuse occurs, often, "We think it's an accident, someone slipped once, and they can do teshuva," where a concept of repentance overwhelms a sense of caution, especially with rabbis, because of the assumption that, "If [the abuser is] a rabbi, certainly he repented." Blau said of abusive rabbis, "He or she is still a danger to others," and, "I think there's no serious question that mesirahdoes not apply."
Turning the conversation to the role of journalism in this whole situation, Rosenblatt called on Magida to respond to the assertion that sometimes for community members, "It's a matter of kill the messenger."
Magida responded with an attempt at humor, saying, "I've been near slaughtered myself since this book came out." Magida's comments were the most troubling in the panel, since they were the most overtly self-serving and most consciously an attempt to seem profound. His response was much fluffy theatrical nonsense, saying "Norman Mailer said that he writes to find the truth at the tip of his pen," as he dramatically raised his rollerball. Magida concluded by telling Rabbi Blau his understanding of halakha, saying that, "It's my opinion that if you have a rodef," then issues of mesirah don't apply; this was almost precisely what Blau had already iterated twice, leading to the conclusion that Magida wasn't really listening to Blau. This is troubling in specific when evinced by a journalist on a panel discussing an issue in which journalistic attentiveness is of premier importance, and journalists must be humble enough to deal appropriately with the sources and the story. Journalistic integrity, responsibility and ethics in the Jewish journalism industry in general has already proven to allow abuse to fester; the Jewish media has not won the trust of its readership necessary to deal properly with this issue (for those Jewish journalists who even acknowledge that it is an issue worth dealing with at all). During the question-and-answer session, one audience member asked about sensationalism in Jewish reporting, and "sensationalism" is a term that could certainly be applied to Magida's act tonight. In a statement that was entirely out of context with the discussion at a certain point, Magida excessively belabored his idea that congregation members who have affairs with their rabbis are trying to make love with God, "They're schtupping God," he finally announced in a sensationalistic conclusion that was long in coming. Magida did not instill confidence in Jewish journalists' ability to deal responsibly with the issue of abuse.
Blau pointed out that victims' parents are often, "Reluctant to go public because they perceive that the person who has been abused will be considered damaged goods," informing the audience that, "In most cases, the parents of the abused children will support the school in getting the teacher fired, but not in spreading the word." This embarrassment issue speaks to the larger issue of global problems in the Jewish community that keep the community fertile for abuse, but are noteworthy problems in and of themselves. In this case, it is the gossipy nature of the community and the constant worry of being blemished for the marriage market; in other cases, rabbi-worship and other problems may be in play. These things should be avoided anyway, and now that we know they'll further our abuse problem, they're not simply innocuous issues taking place in someone else's backyard.
Friedman found blaming the victim to be far too prevalent even in supposedly more enlightened areas of the community, such as one, "Liberal and open-minded person," who asked Friedman of female abuse victims, "Why don't these girls just say no?" During the question-and-answer period, these dangerous views held by self-identified feminists came to light in regard to the case of a specific communit's attempts to build a coalition to discredit an abusive rabbi. "We've been working on this for years, where do we go next," wondered one woman. Her friend added, "He's been very helpful to women in other situations...so agunah organizations and other organizations are reluctant," to oppose him.
Rosenblatt concluded the panel's discussion by pursuing questions of action to take towards abuse in the future. He asked, "Should we encourage kids to go public?"
Friedman responded that Rosenblatt's was, "A very difficult question, that should be decided on a case-by-case basis." Friedman took the opportunity to emphasize that the abuse most relevant to the discussion is that of the serial abuser, who often in the Jewish community will be expelled from one community only to move to another, and so on. Friedman added, "We're not talking about the rabbi who's in an unhappy marriage and gets involved with a congregant."
In discussing procedural solutions to the problem of abuse, Magida noted that the Reform movement requires rabbis in cases of confirmed abuse to go through two years of therapy and tutelage, with the overseeing therapist and rabbi required to sign off on the rabbi's teshuva for him/her to obtain employment. Blau made a point of noting that, "Registering, and the legal ramifications of it," are very hard to deal with, saying, "As government has found with Megan's Law, it's not so simple."
Blau also emphasized changes in attitude. "We shouldn't forget...that there's a much greater quantitative problem of abuse within the family itself," he noted, trying to place rabbinic abuse within a proper context. As regards rabbinic abuse, "A real part of the problem is not only the abuser, but the response of the community," which will often allow, "The abuser [to] just march on, and often the abuser will let [the victim] know," that he or she is powerful enough to avoid prosecution. He said that communities improperly rationalize the conduct of abusive rabbis by emphasizing that they are, "Very charismatic people, who have achieved a lot in the rabbinate," which Blau characterized as, "A Faustian deal." Blau responded to this attitude, saying, "First of all, I don't think religiously or morally we're allowed to make that kind of equation; secondly, we're underestimating the number of people who've been hurt."
Jewish Week forum at Makor focuses on countering stigma of shame and secrecy among victims.
Jewish Week - December 19, 2003
http://www.thejewishweek.com/news/newscontent.php3?artid=8856&offset=&B1=1&author=Staff%20Report&issuedates=oneday&month=12&day=19&year=2003&issuedate=20031219&keyword=Makor
During the question-and-answer session of a forum
last week on rabbinic abuse, several female health-care professionals in
the audience spoke with passion and frustration about a well-known rabbi
in their local community whose affairs with women in his office, they said,
have gone on for years.
The speakers said they felt stymied as to how to take action against the unnamed rabbi, who is highly respected, and help the women involved, who are too embarrassed to speak out.
Their remarks underscored a central theme of the evening sponsored by The Jewish Week and Makor: that rabbinic abuse — sexual, emotional and psychological — is an ongoing problem, whether or not individual cases make the headlines. For all the increased public awareness and reforms made in recent years, the stigma of shame and secrecy among victims, particularly in the Orthodox community, still prevents many abusers from being identified and punished.
Rabbi Yosef Blau, mashgiach ruchani (spiritual adviser) at Yeshiva University and one of the program's three panelists, encouraged the women who spoke out not to lose hope and urged them to keep up their efforts to resolve the situation, even if it takes years.
Rabbi Blau, who has sought to focus communal attention on the problem of rabbinic abuse for years, was joined on the panel by Dr. Michelle Friedman, a psychiatrist and director of pastoral counseling for rabbinical students at Yeshivat Chovevei Torah in Manhattan, and Arthur Magida, a journalist and author of "The Rabbi and the Hit Man," an account of a New Jersey rabbi convicted in the murder of his wife in 1994.
Gary Rosenblatt, editor and publisher of The Jewish Week, served as moderator of the discussion, held at Makor, the West Side branch of the 92nd Street Y.
Rosenblatt explained at the outset that the purpose of the program was "not to rehash" recent highly publicized scandals involving sexual abuse by clergy "but to look at what can be done to prevent future cases."
Newspapers are not the ideal medium for the exposure of abuse cases, he said, but serve that purpose now because there is "a vacuum" in the community.
The consensus of the panel was that that rabbinical schools need to reconsider how rabbis are trained and treated, and that the community needs to find a vehicle from within for dealing with abuse cases in a fair and effective manner.
Too often, Rosenblatt said (and the panelists agreed) when abuse is discovered in a congregation or school, the matter is handled quietly and the perpetrator, after being terminated, is free to go to another unsuspecting community and abuse again.
Friedman said rabbis need to understand themselves and the power transferred on to them by congregants. Since there is little separation between rabbis' personal and professional lives, "it's not a question of if they'll be provoked but how, and how often," she said. "The first thing you do is take your own ... emotional pulse."
Rabbi Blau pointed out that while rabbinical students are trained and evaluated on the basis of their knowledge of Jewish law, there is no halachic requirement that rabbis act more morally than any other Jew. He asserted that cases of abuse always trump prohibitions against lashon hara (gossip) or mesirah (testifying against a fellow Jew).
"It's not a gray area at all," he said in response to a question from Rosenblatt. The rabbi said there is "tremendous denial" in the community and too often people want to believe that the abuser did teshuvah (repented), when in fact he or she "is still a danger to others."
Rabbi Blau cautioned against weighing the positive qualities a rabbi might have against his abusive behavior and rationalizing that the good outweighs the bad. He called it "a Faustian deal" and said the community should not hesitate to contact the police or other authorities outside the Jewish community in cases of abuse.
Magida spoke of the inherent power a rabbi has over congregants, so that in the New Jersey case, even when the rabbi was accused of being responsible for the murder of his wife, many who knew him could not believe he was guilty.
A rabbi in the audience commented on the positive strides being taken now to guard against abuse in congregations and schools, including policies to not leave congregants seeking counseling alone in a closed room with a clergy member.
But Friedman responded with some skepticism about the scope of improvement of communal guidelines and attitudes, noting that psychological training programs for rabbis have "withered more than grown."
She and the other panelists encouraged the audience members, and the community in general, to keep the issue of abuse in the public eye, suggesting that open discussion is a safeguard against the secrecy that benefits abusers. n
The third in a series of four Jewish Week forums at Makor will be held at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 11, with staff writer Debra Nussbaum Cohen moderating a discussion on "The New, And Future, Jewish Family."
Me writes about the Rabbi Mordecai Tendler
scandal:
Protocal Blogspot - Wednesday, August 25, 2004
http://protocols.blogspot.com/
Questions and areas I would like to see addressed:
1) How a sexual predator could have been allowed to prey on women for so long in the Orthodox community.
2) Why so many in the Rabbinical community and in leadership positions in Orthodox women's groups chose to protect Rabbi Mordechai Tendler instead of his vulnerable victims.
3) How post-Lanner, there is still nowhere ano no one for victims of abuse to turn to. There is an utter failure by our leadership to create any effective mechanism to deal with sexual predators operating inside the Orthodox community.
4) Why people missed and ignored all the warning signs.
5) Why people in the Orthodox community once again chose to silence the victims and protect a sexual predator.
6) There is a side issue involving alleged alterations/editing of his grandfather's tshuvot by Rabbi Mordechai Tendler in subsequent printings (the real reason his grandfather's family have nothing to do wih him and are quite angry with him). Even the slightest changes have great significance in the Orthodox world.
7) Rabbi Mordechai Tendler is not the only sexual predator who has been promoted as a champion of women's issues in the Orthdox community despite the knowledge of community leaders and Rabbonim that these so-called "champions of women" are preying on the most vulnerable in our community.
8) The pressing need for a leadership change not just in the Rabbanute but also in many of our community organizations that failed the vulnerable in our community. It didn't happen after Lanner (2 people left the OU and several others were shifted out of decision making roles regarding NCSY) but Rabbi Mordechai Tendler (and his protectors and enablers) once again demonstrates the real need for a "regime change" in the Orthodox community.
Rabbinical Council Is Probing Claims of Sexual
Harassment
By Rukhl Schaechter
NY Forward - August 27, 2004
http://www.forward.com/main/article.php?ref=schaechter200408251025
http://www.haaretzdaily.com/hasen/spages/471400.html
The main union of Modern Orthodox rabbis is investigating allegations of sexual harassment against the scion of a prominent rabbinic family, the Forward has learned.
Officials at the Rabbinical Council of America, an organization
representing more than 1,000 Orthodox clergymen, confirmed that the organization
is examining sexual harassment allegations against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler.
He is a son of Yeshiva University professor Rabbi Moshe Tendler, a leading
Orthodox arbiter of bioethical issues, and a grandson of the late Rabbi Moshe
Feinstein, the Orthodox world's most respected religious arbiter for much
of the 20th century.
A spokesman for the younger Tendler vehemently denied the allegations.
"Rabbi Tendler denies all of the allegations that are being made in their entirety," the spokesman wrote in a statement sent to the Forward. "No misconduct was committed by him."
Tendler has been hailed by some Orthodox feminists for his attempts to bolster the standing of women in the Orthodox community and for his efforts on behalf of agunot, or women who have been unable to secure a religious divorce decree from their husbands. A respected authority on his grandfather's writings and a part-time instructor at Yeshiva University, Tendler also has emerged as a leading defender of the increasingly beleaguered Modern Orthodox community of Monsey, N.Y., in its communal turf struggles against the dominant ultra-Orthodox majority.
Sources familiar with the situation say that the RCA has solicited the services of a private investigations firm from Texas to probe the allegations against Tendler.
"We take all these allegations very seriously and certainly don't want to whitewash it," said Rabbi Kenneth Auman, president of the RCA. "On the other hand, we also have to bear in mind the protection of the accused, and therefore I would prefer to wait with a statement, until we hear the final report."
Auman declined to discuss details of the allegations and would not divulge the name of the firm hired by the RCA to conduct the investigation.
In his statement to the Forward, Tendler's spokesman stated that "we are fully confident that the RCA will totally vindicate Rabbi Tendler after their investigation is finished." The spokesman also wrote: "We have asked the Forward, in the interest of fairness, not to publish this story until a full and complete investigation was completed by the Rabbinical Council of America. The pending RCA investigation, which was to be confidential, was unfairly revealed to the Forward before Rabbi Tendler was even interviewed by the RCA. We are saddened that the Forward decided to publish this story, and hope that Rabbi Tendler's excellent reputation will not be tarnished because of it."
Several sources have informed the Forward that a number of women have told friends and Jewish communal figures that Tendler, who is married with eight children, had propositioned them while serving in his role as either rabbinic counselor or religious arbiter.
Two of Tendler's accusers outlined their allegations in interviews with the Forward, but asked not to be identified. It does not appear that any woman has filed a criminal complaint against Tendler.
A source who has spoken to several of the alleged victims told the Forward that the women were afraid to come forth. In addition, several alleged victims have refused to air their claims publicly, for fear of committing sacrilege by shaming a prominent rabbi.
Tendler is the founder and religious leader of Kehillat New
Hempstead, a Modern Orthodox congregation near Monsey. During his tenure
there, he has earned praise from Orthodox feminist leaders for his open-minded
approach to women's issues. He composed a popular prayer on behalf of agunot
that is recited around the world.
"He is very sensitive to the agunah's plight," said Blu Greenberg, a well-known author and lecturer on feminist and Orthodox issues, in an interview with the Forward. "He spares no effort, and does an intensive investigation of each case, in order to find a halachic methodology that could render the agunah's marriage null and void, and thus release her from her status as an agunah."
Greenberg added: "I hope and pray that the allegations against him will be found in a court to be not true."
While Tendler has developed a positive reputation in some Orthodox circles, two prominent rabbis, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Forward that they first heard about complaints regarding Tendler several years ago.
Several women first brought their allegations to Rabbi Mark Dratch, a member of the RCA's executive board who specializes in religious questions regarding abuse against women and children. "After a while," Dratch said, "I decided, in the name of objectivity, to hand the issue over to the RCA." He did so in January. "I'm sure the conclusion will be considerate and sensitive to all sides concerned," Dratch said.
According to sources familiar with the situation, in June the RCA hired the Texas firm in an attempt to assure all parties that the investigation was impartial. Since then, a non-Jewish female detective from the firm has been interviewing the alleged victims.
According to two sources, Tendler reached a settlement with one woman who claims to have been seduced by the rabbi while seeing him for marriage counseling. When contacted by the Forward, the woman's lawyer declined to discuss the issue. Tendler's lawyer also refused to comment.
Around the time of the alleged settlement, according to a different woman who has complained to the RCA about Tendler, she and other members of the rabbi's synagogue, Kehillat New Hempstead, received an anonymous letter in the spring of 2003 warning "daughters, wives and other vulnerable women in the community" of the allegations against Tendler. The letter stated that the message was being sent by "a group of rabbis, mental health professionals and physicians from a wide range of religious observance within the Orthodox world."
Several weeks later, some of the women who have accused Tendler of wrongdoing received a letter dated August 4, 2003 from Bradley Rephen, a lawyer claiming to represent Tendler. In the letter, Rephen, then an active member of Kehillat New Hempstead, accused the alleged victims of writing the "maliciously fictionalized" letter, and advised them to immediately "cease any further slanderous conduct referencing Rabbi Tendler."
Tendler's spokesman described Rephen as "a well-meaning member of the community" who wrote the letter "on behalf of Rabbi Tendler."
Two months after Rephen's first letter, the women received a second letter dated October 20 from Rephen, stating that "this law firm no longer represents Rabbi Mordecai Tendler and Kehillat New Hempstead. All communications should be directed to Rabbi Tendler and/or the board of directors of Kehillat New Hempstead."
Rephen did not return calls for comment.
Batya Siegel, a 54-year-old clinical aesthetician who has met with the private investigator hired by the RCA, told the Forward that about 12 years ago Tendler propositioned her while he adjudicated her divorce and a rent dispute.
Tendler's spokesman denied the allegations.
Siegel first became Orthodox in 1976. Five years later, she said, she moved to Monsey with her new husband and her children from a previous marriage, in order to be part of a supportive Orthodox community and to seek spiritual guidance from Tendler. Several years after moving to Monsey, Siegel decided to divorce her husband. "So there I was, with 5 children, no job and no financial support," she said. "Some time later, I was evicted because I couldn't pay the rent. The landlord called me to a beis din [rabbinical court] in Rabbi Tendler's shul. Rabbi Tendler was also on the beis din for my get [divorce decree] which was still pending, but I figured it probably didn't matter if you had the same rabbi in two separate beis dins."
According to Siegel, who now goes by a different name, the three rabbis handling her rent dispute said she had another month or two to move out. As soon as the proceedings were over and everyone else had left, the woman alleged, she was about to leave too, when Tendler propositioned her.
"You can imagine my shock," Siegel told the Forward. "I ran out of there. He started calling me almost every day after that."
She added: "You have to understand, Rabbi Tendler had tremendous power over me then. He was on the beis din for my divorce, which was still not settled, so I couldn't tell him off the way I wanted to. I was afraid he'd use it against me and I'd never have my get. So I kept him at bay by answering: 'After the divorce, we'll talk about it.'"
As soon as the other rabbinic tribunal presented her with the get, Siegel said, she hurried out the door, but Tendler ran after her and said "You've got your get; remember what you promised." Siegel said that she turned around and responded "with some choice words" and drove off. Tendler, she said, never called her again.
The account offered by Siegel was challenged by her former landlord and by Tendler's spokesman.
"These allegations, recently made, supposedly are based on incidents that happened years ago," Tendler's spokesman said. "Ms. Siegel's alleged incident occurred nine years ago. This fact by itself makes [her] credibility suspect, and [her] allegations should be rejected out of hand."
Siegel's former landlord, Suri Horowitz, signed a letter last week denying that any beit din involving Tendler took place. Horowitz told the Forward that the letter was accurate and that she signed it at the request of Tendler's camp.
Siegel, meanwhile, stood by her original story, saying that Tendler had been involved in both rabbinic tribunals.
Orthodox rabbi probed for
harassment
JTA - Sunday, August 29, 2004 - 01:15 p.m. ET
http://www.jta.org/brknews.asp?id=118362
The main association of centrist Orthodox rabbis is investigating a high-profile cleric for sexual harassment.
The Rabbinical Council of America is investigating allegations made against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler, son of leading Yeshiva University Rabbi Moshe Tendler, according to the Forward newspaper. A spokesman for Mordecai Tendler, who also is the grandson of the famed late Orthodox scion Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, denied the allegations that Tendler, a father of eight, had propositioned several women while serving as a rabbinic counselor or religious judge.
None of the women has filed a criminal complaint against Tendler, the report said.
The Forward`s Orthodox Bashing:The Latest
Installments
Jewish Post - 9/2/2004
By Editorial Board
http://www.jewishpress.com/news_article.asp?article=4115
Several
times in the recent past we have opined on this page that the Forward rarely
misses an opportunity to engage in old fashioned "Orthodox bashing."
Unfortunately, in its August 20 and August 27 issues, the Forward provided
more evidence of its unsavory agenda. The lead front page story in the August
20issue was entitled "N.J. Sex Scandal Spills Into Orthodox World As Touro
Link Is Eyed." In one fell swoop, the "Orthodox world" is suddenly identified
with the sordid McGreevey story of the possible compromising of national
security through an alleged homosexual relationship McGreevey may have had
with Golan Cipel, an Israeli national. And what does the Forward offer in
the article?
Not much.
The Forward mugging starts with its sub-heading: "McGreevey and Cipel Camps Spar Over Role of Mystery Lawyer," and is followed with these first two paragraphs in the piece:
The lawyers representing Golan Cipel, the Israeli at the heart of the political tumult in the Garden State, are attempting to debunk claims that their client was a partner or pawn in an elaborate scheme to bring down New Jersey Governor James McGreevey. In an exclusive interview with the Forward, one of Cipel`s two attorneys, Rachel Yosevitz, denied the latest and most shocking
claim that their camp had issued an 11th-hour demand seeking the governor`s pledge to approve plans for a medical school to be run by Touro College, a New York-based institution run by Orthodox Jews. Media reports identified Timothy Saia as the lawyer who floated the Touro demand to McGreevey`s allies. Saia reportedly issued the demand to McGreevey ally State Senator
Raymond Lesniak just half an hour before the governor resigned, saying it came from Cipel attorney Allen Lowy.
The Forward goes on to report, however, that according to Yosevitz, Saia was part of McGreevey`s negotiating team and that "Touro`s attorneys say they have never heard of Saia." So we are given nothing of substance to directly link Touro with any demand made of McGreevey. And astonishingly, what the rest of the world viewed as a tale of a governor of a major state supposedly having given the top homeland security job in his administration in return for sexual favors, became, for the Forward, an "elaborate scheme" to bring down McGreevey which was centered around the Touro medical school issue and the supposed Touro connection was the "most shocking" aspect of the entire episode.
The Forward didn`t miss a beat in its August 27 issue. In a front page, centrally positioned article entitled "Rabbinical Council Is Probing Claims of Sexual Harassment," the Forward tells us that,
The main union of modern Orthodox rabbis [the Rabbinical Council of America] is investigating allegations of sexual harassment against the scion of a prominent rabbinic family, the Forward has learned.
Significantly, the article goes on to identify the rabbi whose spokesman, it is reported, "vehemently denied the allegations." We are then told by the Forward reporter that the rabbi in question has been hailed by Orthodox feminists "for his attempts to bolster the standing of women in the Orthodox community and for his efforts on behalf of agunot..."
The president of the RCA, asked for a comment, is quoted as saying, "We take all these allegations very seriously and certainly don`t want to whitewash it. On the other hand, we also have to bear in mind the protection of the accused, and therefore I would prefer to wait with a statement, until we hear the final report."
We are also told that the matter came to the RCA in January, after "several women" brought the allegations to "a member of the RCA`s executive board who specializes in religious questions regarding abuse against women and children." The RCA official, who is identified, is quoted as saying, "After a while, I decided, in the name of objectivity, to hand the issue over to the RCA. I`m sure the conclusion will be considerate and sensitive to all sides concerned." But the Forward was not so circumspect as the two RCA officials and, in fact identified the rabbi being investigated. And what does the Forward tell us about the charges? Again, not much. The italics are ours, but the words are the Forward`s:
We are told that "several sources have informed the Forward that a number of women have told friends and Jewish communal figures that ...[the rabbi] had propositioned them while serving in his role as either rabbinic counselor or religious arbiter."
We are also told that "Two of [the rabbi`s] accusers outlined their allegations in interviews with the Forward, but asked not to be identified. It does not appear that any woman has filed a criminal complaint..."
We are further told that, "A source who has spoken to several of the alleged victims told the
Forward that the women were afraid to come forth. In addition, several alleged victims have refused to air their claims publicly, for fear of committing sacrilege by shaming a prominent rabbi." We are told that, "...two prominent rabbis, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Forward that they first heard about complaints regarding...[the rabbi being investigated] several years ago."
The Forward also reports, "According to two sources, ...[the rabbi] reached a settlement with one woman who claims to have been seduced by the rabbi while seeing him for marriage counseling. When contacted by the Forward, the woman`s lawyer declined to discuss the case."
The Forward does almost identify one accuser who reportedly told the Forward that 12 years ago the rabbi "propositioned her while he adjudicated her divorce and a rent dispute." Actually, the
Forward says that the name given for her is not current and she "now goes by a different name." In any event, it is not made clear when the propositioning allegedly took place, but the accuser`s landlord denies the rabbi sat on the beit din hearing the rent dispute and the rabbi`s spokesman denies the accusation, noting that it only surfaced 12 years after it supposedly happened.
So a school that has revolutionized private education is fair game for the Forward and without substantiation, is made the front page centerpiece of a sordid political/sex scandal, because it is operated under Orthodox auspices. And a well-respected Orthodox rabbi who is widely applauded by feminists for his work is made the subject of a front page sexual harassment "expose" based upon the unproven claims of a few nameless accusers.
For shame.
Rabbinic Abuse Case Hits Snag - Sexual harassment
probe of prominent rabbi a delicate task for RCA.
Gary Rosenblatt - Editor And Publisher
Jewish Week - 12/10/2004
http://www.thejewishweek.com/news/newscontent.php3?artid=10237
A rabbinic investigation into charges of sexual harassment against a prominent colleague seems to have sparked its own controversy.
The Jewish Week has learned that a committee from the Rabbinical Council of America, the largest organization of Orthodox rabbis in the country, has shared the findings of an eight-month investigation with the accused, Rabbi Mordechai Tendler, a well-known spiritual leader in the Monsey community, to allow him to prepare a defense.
It is alleged that the rabbi then contacted at least one of the women named in the report and sought to intimidate her, a charge denied by the rabbi's attorney, Arnold Kriss.
Also under dispute is whether the women who spoke to the investigator knew that their names would be shared with the rabbi.
The nature of the charges and the stature of the rabbi and his family in Orthodox circles make this a particularly difficult and delicate case.
The rabbi's father, Rabbi Moshe Tendler, is a rosh yeshiva at Yeshiva University and the spiritual leader of another Monsey synagogue. His grandfather, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, with whom he studied, was one of the leading poskim (religious decisors) of the 20th century.
Rabbi Mordechai Tendler, spiritual leader of Kehillat New Hempstead and a charismatic figure who has been an outspoken advocate on behalf of freeing agunot (women in chained marriages), is accused of taking advantage of women who have come to him with personal matters, such as troubled marriages.
Among the charges: He would seek to have relations with women in return for helping to expedite their divorce.
Rabbi Tendler, who is married and has eight children, has chosen not to respond publicly, but has strongly denied all charges through his attorney. His supporters insist he is an outstanding spiritual leader who is now paying the price for agreeing to counsel hundreds of people, including women who are emotionally and psychologically unstable.
Another complicating factor in the case is that while the RCA recently approved of a task force to deal with rabbinic sexual improprieties, the Tendler investigation is being conducted under the old rules. In the new system, time limits will be imposed on probes, and those serving on the committee will undergo training in how to deal with cases of sexual abuse.
"They are trying to do the right thing, but they are floundering," one rabbi, who asked to remain anonymous, said of the RCA committee. "They were hoping the investigator's report would be more definitive one way or the other, but the nature of it is primarily `he said, she said,' and now they are looking for more evidence."
Someone who has seen the report said it is not definitive, "but there is a lot of smoke," and it indicates that at the very least a number of "serious mistakes in judgment were made" by Rabbi Tendler.
The report, based in part on telephone interviews with up to nine women and an in-person interview with Rabbi Tendler, has been in the hands of the Vaad Hakavod [ethics] committee of the rabbinic group for two months. The committee is led by Rabbi Hershel Billet, a former president of the RCA, and comprised of several rabbis and at least one lay person, a female attorney. They are charged with determining whether or not Rabbi Tendler should be barred from the organization.
The committee includes Rabbi Gedaliah Schwartz, who heads the Bet Din of America, but since he lives in Chicago and only visits New York several days a month, the process has gone slowly. It is believed the committee is also planning to add a mental health professional.
A meeting of the committee is planned for later this month. Meanwhile, efforts are continuing to find "evidence that allegedly is out there," according to one source.
Several sources said a tape recording exists of a conversation between Rabbi Tendler and one of the women that indicates an intimate relationship.
A cleaning woman originally from Jamaica told The Jewish Week that she worked for a woman in Monsey who admitted to her that she had an intimate relationship with the rabbi.
"I heard the tapes of what he did and what he wanted to do to her sexually, and how he loved her and wants to see her," the cleaning woman said.
Other women interviewed said they were unwilling to be named for fear of retribution, noting that several of the complainants have been ostracized or have chosen to move out of the community.
The Jewish Week first learned of the allegations against Rabbi Tendler in November 2003 when several women attending a Jewish Week forum on rabbinic sex abuse voiced their charges privately, following the program.
The newspaper, while tracking the case through interviews with dozens of rabbis, women and others knowledgeable about the situation, chose not to report on it as the RCA investigation moved forward. But the newspaper changed its views after the story became public through an article in the Forward this fall and the RCA report was released to Rabbi Tendler through his attorney.
Rabbi Tendler, who describes himself as a maverick because of his forceful and sometimes liberal views in regards to women's issues, has been praised by some Orthodox feminists. He is also admired by many in his community for his numerous acts of chesed, or personal kindness, such as offering charity to those in need and helping families enroll their children in yeshivas.
He has long offered spiritual and pastoral counseling, and many have taken his offer.
Batye Seigel, 53, told The Jewish Week this week that the rabbi propositioned her about 12 years ago after she came to him for help as her spiritual counselor because she was destitute and alone raising five young children.
Seigel said she first "sensed something weird" when the rabbi would lock the door of his study at home while meeting with her. She recalled that when the two were alone in the synagogue one day, he asked her to come with him to the basement.
"I don't remember his exact words, but something to the effect that he wanted to mess around," said Seigel, a clinical and medical aesthetician.
She said that such verbal episodes continued over a period of months while she was trying to get her religious divorce, and she would "keep him at bay" by saying she couldn't even think about a relationship until after she received her get.
When the divorce papers were finally signed, Seigel said she ran out of the house where the proceedings took place. Rabbi Tendler called after her, she said, and Seigel told him, in no uncertain terms, to leave her alone.
"That was the last I heard from him," Seigel said, adding that she is not afraid of the rabbi but she knows that other women are. She said she is angry that "this man is in a position of power, and I wonder how many more women have to come forward before he is stopped?"
Seigel said that after 15 years of living "a genuine and authentic life of Yiddishkeit" as an adult, she gave it up, primarily because of her disillusionment with Rabbi Tendler.
Jillian Sinclair, 42, of Monsey, said that when she was going through the initial stages of divorce a couple of years ago, she went to see Rabbi Tendler to discuss her situation. But Sinclair (her maiden name), a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse, said she was uncomfortable with the rabbi's behavior.
"He would try to probe into intimacy issues that I felt were inappropriate, especially for a rabbi," she said in an interview. "And he was fixated on whether I was having an affair, which I wasn't, and telling me that if I was, it was none of my husband's business, that it's just between me and God. I found that very odd."
Sinclair said the rabbi offered to study philosophy with her privately in his study, and in counseling her and her husband separately, used information they confided in him to drive them apart rather than help them reunite.
Now divorced, Sinclair said that in the last year she has met with and tried to offer support to other women in the community who have accused the rabbi of sexual harassment.
"He helps so many people," she said, "but for every woman he has helped, I think there's another he's abused."
Rabbi Tendler reportedly reached a settlement several years ago with a woman who claimed he initiated an affair with her while he was counseling her about her marriage problems.
"At the very least he seems to have acted in ways inappropriate for a rabbi," said one source, "meeting alone with women at odd hours, etc. But should he just be reprimanded, or actually expelled from the RCA? The case isn't closed."
The Orthodox-Bashing Never Ends: The Jewish Week
Follows, The Forward`s Lead
By Jewish Press Editorial Board
Jewish Press
December 15, 2004
http://thejewishpress.com/news_article.asp?article=4489
In last week`s edition of the Jewish Week,
Publisher Gary Rosenblatt was transparently falling all over himself trying
to get in on the Forward`s four-month-old "scoop" on the
Rabbinical Council of
America's investigation of charges of "sexual harassment" allegations
against a "prominent [Orthodox] rabbi." But Rosenblatt — as the Forward
did before him — fell flat on his face. Both came up with a pastiche
of unattributed claims and innuendo, while the rabbi — who of course
was named, with his pedigree duly noted — was smeared throughout the
article. And Rosenblatt`s piece, though purporting to offer new information,
was actually less substantial than even the Forward's flimsy story.
In its August 27, 2004 issue, in a front-page article headlined " Rabbinical Council Is Probing Claims of Sexual Harassment," the Forward told us that:
The main union of Modern Orthodox rabbis [the Rabbinical Council of America] is investigating allegations of sexual harassment against the scion of a prominent rabbinic family, the Forward has learned.
We were also told that the matter came to the RCA in January, after "several women" brought the allegations to "a member of the RCA`s executive board who specializes in religious questions regarding abuse against women and children."
We were then informed that "several sources informed the Forward that a number of women have told friends and Jewish communal figures that ... [the rabbi] had propositioned them while serving in his role as either rabbinic counselor or religious arbiter;" that "Two of [the rabbi`s] accusers outlined their allegations in interviews with the Forward, but asked not to be identified"; that "A source who has spoken to several of the alleged victims told the Forward that the women were afraid to come forth. In addition, several alleged victims have refused to air their claims publicly, for fear of committing sacrilege by shaming a prominent rabbi."
We were also told that "[T]wo prominent rabbis, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Forward that they first heard about complaints regarding ... [the rabbi being investigated] several years ago"; and that "According to two sources, ... [the rabbi] reached a settlement with one woman who claims to have been seduced by the rabbi while seeing him for marriage counseling. When contacted by the Forward, the woman`s lawyer declined to discuss the case." (Emphasis added throughout.)
The Forward did almost identify one accuser who reportedly told the paper that 12 years ago the rabbi "propositioned her while he adjudicated her divorce and a rent dispute." Actually, the Forward acknowledged that the name given for her is not current and that she "now goes by a different name." In any event, it is not made clear when the alleged propositioning took place, but the accuser`s landlord was said to have denied that the rabbi sat on the beit din hearing the rent dispute and the rabbi`s spokesman denied the accusation, noting that it only surfaced 12 years after it supposedly happened.
And here is what Gary Rosenblatt had to say in his catch-up article entitled "Rabbinic Abuse Case Hits Snag":
A rabbinic investigation into charges of sexual harassment against a prominent colleague seems to have sparked its own controversy.
The Jewish Week has learned that a committee from the Rabbinical Council of America, the largest organization of Orthodox Rabbis in the country, has shared the findings of an eight-month investigation with the accused ... to allow him to prepare a defense.
It is alleged that the rabbi then contacted at least one of the women named in the report and sought to intimidate her, a charge denied by the rabbi`s attorney...
Also under dispute is whether the women who spoke to the investigator knew that their names would be shared with the rabbi.
There's more, but it is worth pausing to reflect on what has already been said.
Astonishingly, it is characterized as controversial that an accused would be given the evidence against him and the identity of his accusers. For Heaven`s sake, how can anybody conceivably defend against charges without this information? Nor are we sure of what to make of the phrase "at least one of the women" who were allegedly contacted by the rabbi. But she certainly is not identified.
Rosenblatt goes on to say:
The nature of the charges and the stature of the rabbi and his family in Orthodox circles makes this a particularly difficult and delicate case....
"They [the RCA] are trying to do the right thing, but they are floundering," one rabbi, who asked to remain anonymous, said of the RCA committee. "They were hoping the investigator`s report would be more definitive one way or the other, but the nature of it is primarily he said, she said,` and now they are looking for more evidence."
Someone who has seen the report said it is not definitive, "but there is a lot of smoke," and it indicates that at the very least a number of "serious mistakes in judgment were made" by [the rabbi].
A meeting [of the RCA committee] is planned for later this month. Meanwhile, efforts are continuing to find "evidence that allegedly is out there," according to one source.
Several sources said a tape recording exists of a conversation between [the rabbi] and one of the women that indicates an intimate relationship. A cleaning woman originally from Jamaica told The Jewish Week that she worked for a woman ... who admitted to her that she had an intimate relationship with the rabbi. [Emphasis added throughout.]
Again a pause to reflect. This is pretty extraordinary stuff. Rosenblatt offers no evidence for his assertion that the RCA committee is having a problem because of the prominence and provenance of the rabbi. He also relies on the report of "one rabbi, who asked to remain anonymous" for his claim that the committee is "floundering." Rosenblatt acknowledges that there is no definitive evidence to this date but still goes on to quote someone who says "there is a lot of smoke" about "serious mistakes in judgment" by the rabbi. And his reference to the hearsay comment of the "cleaning lady" as the sole support for the existence of an incriminating tape, despite referring to several sources, defies belief.
To be sure, Rosenblatt does give names for two of the women who are accusers of the rabbi. However, one claims that an incident occurred 12 years ago and the aforementioned Forward article had reported that she has since changed her name. And the second of the two identified accusers — and Rosenblatt only gives us her maiden name in any event — claimed, according to Rosenblatt, that the rabbi was too probing in his questioning which she "felt" was "inappropriate"; "he was fixated on whether I was having an affair;" and he "used" information she and her husband gave him "to drive them apart rather than help them unite." Rosenblatt also quotes the second lady as follows: "He [the rabbi] helps so many people, but for every woman he has helped, I think there`s another he`s abused."
Why would Rosenblatt put himself through such grueling journalistic gymnastics to get into print with this — certainly at this point in time — non-story? Perhaps he'd been seething ever since the Forward beat him to the Orthodox-bashing punch in August. Indeed, he said this in the article:
The Jewish Week first learned of the allegations against [the rabbi] in November when several women attending a Jewish Week forum on rabbinic sex abuse voiced their charges privately, following the program.
The newspaper, while tracking the case through interviews with dozens of rabbis, women and others knowledgeable about the situation, chose not to report on it as the RCA investigation moved forward. But the newspaper changed its views after the story became public through an article in the Forward this fall and the RCA report was released [by the rabbi] through his attorney. [Emphasis added throughout.]
This clearly has the taste of sour grapes. Especially since Rosenblatt`s piece appeared four months after the Forward article to which he has added absolutely nothing. But more importantly, his apologia, with all of its indefiniteness, underscores what Rosenblatt was up to. This is not to pass on the merits of the charges. We simply do not know. More to the point, neither does the Jewish Week or the Forward. Right now, it's still a matter of he said-she said. Yet this did not stop either newspaper from treating the rabbi as someone already found guilty.
Major Rabbinical Council Slammed For Releasing Names
in Sexual Abuse Case
By Rukhl Schaechter and Eric J. Greenberg
Forward - December 17, 2004
http://forward.com/main/article.php?ref=greenberg20041215926
The nation's leading Orthodox rabbinical organization is being accused of betraying women who say they were sexually abused or harassed by a prominent New York rabbi hailed for counseling women about their troubled marriages.
Critics of the Rabbinical Council of America are blasting the group for giving Rabbi Mordecai Tendler and his attorney, Arnold Kriss, a copy of an internal report on the sexual harassment allegations, including the names of women who claimed Tendler harassed them. Kriss has vehemently denied the allegations against his client.
The RCA — the major association of Modern Orthodox rabbis — is being roundly criticized by outside experts, as well several women who say that when they cooperated with the investigation they never gave permission for their names to be shared. Tendler, the scion of a prominent rabbinic family, is the son of Yeshiva University Professor Rabbi Moshe Tendler, a leading Orthodox expert on bioethical issues, and a grandson of the late Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the Orthodox world's most respected religious arbiter for much of the 20th century.
Based on past experiences with Tendler and with his supporters, several women who cooperated with the RCA investigation said that they are scared about possible retaliation against them.
One of the alleged victims who cooperated with the investigation, Jillian Gordon, 42, slammed the RCA's decision to give Tendler the report as "a betrayal of women, an act of extreme negligence and indiscretion, and a violation of privacy."
"Frankly I felt re-victimized," said Gordon, who accused Tendler of sexually harassing her after she turned to him for marriage counseling.
Several national experts on religious abuse told the Forward that they believe disclosing the report without the victims' permission, as is charged, violates generally accepted standards on how complaints from alleged abuse victims should be handled. At the very least, the experts said, the women should have been asked whether they wanted their names to be released to Tendler, and they should have been given the chance to withdraw their complaint if they did not.
The RCA "blew this big-time," said Jeff Anderson, a St. Paul, Minn. attorney who for two decades has represented survivors of sexual abuse by clergy from all religions.
Marci Hamilton, an expert in religious abuse cases and a professor at Yeshiva University's Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, sounded a similar note. The allegations against the RCA constitute "gross negligence on the part of the religious organization," she said.
"It's incredible. Supposedly these are religious organizations that are oriented to helping the weak, but nobody seems to care about [the women]," Hamilton said. By giving Tendler the names of his accusers, she said, the RCA appears to have "failed in its legal, moral and religious obligations."
The president of the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance, Carol Newman, said that "if it turns out that names were released, it calls into question the ability of the RCA to confront allegations of rabbinic abuse in a fair and equitable manner, and will have terrible long-term implications."
The RCA's decision to turn over the report to Tendler was first cited last week by The New York Jewish Week. An August 27 article in the Forward first revealed the RCA investigation and the allegations against Tendler.
The mounting controversy threatens not only to embarrass a prominent rabbinic family, but also to undermine the credibility of the RCA. With more than 1,000 members, the Orthodox rabbinical council deals with a wide range of religious and social issues, in addition to sponsoring an influential rabbinical court.
Rabbi Basil Herring, executive vice president of the RCA, told the Forward that it is the policy of the organization not to discuss internal investigations. Herring would not comment on how long the investigation would take.
The RCA's ethics committee is reportedly scheduled to hold a meeting this month regarding the allegations and the report.
One high-ranking RCA official, who asked not to be identified, defended the organization's decision to hand over the report to Tendler.
"There is nothing unusual about an accused person getting information in order to help him defend himself," the high-ranking RCA official said. "This is true both in secular law and in Jewish law, which presumes that an accused person has a right to defend himself."
The RCA official added: "Hypothetically speaking, I can't imagine how a person making an accusation could expect that it would not be presented to the accused, unless, of course, in extreme cases, like organized crime, where the witnesses need to be protected."
Hamilton, the Cardozo professor, rejected the attempt to compare the current situation to a criminal case.
"This constant analogy to criminal law just breaks down," Hamilton said. She stated that in a criminal proceeding, a victim must agree to cooperate in order for the prosecutor to proceed and press charges.
Hamilton said "that's a far cry from agreeing to be identified and named to the accused. If someone does not want to press charges against criminal behavior, they have that choice."
A respected authority on his grandfather's writings and a part-time instructor at Y.U., Tendler also has emerged as a leading defender of the increasingly beleaguered Modern Orthodox community of Monsey, N.Y., in its communal turf struggles against the dominant ultra-Orthodox majority. Tendler is the founder and religious leader of Kehillat New Hempstead, a Modern Orthodox congregation near Monsey. During his tenure there, he has earned praise from Orthodox feminist leaders for his open-minded approach to women's issues. He composed a popular prayer on behalf of agunot, or women who have been unable to secure a religious divorce decree from their husbands.
RCA insiders say the worst they could do is expel Tendler from the organization — a decision that would not directly impact his pulpit position.
The report comprising the women's names, which was passed along to Tendler last month, contained interviews with at least eight alleged victims, sources familiar with the case told the Forward.
Dallas-based sexual abuse investigation agency Praesidium, Inc. was hired by the RCA to look into the women's complaints. It built upon an earlier case file compiled in late 2003 by a vice president of the RCA, Rabbi Mark Dratch.
This past summer, Praesidium conducted telephone interviews with alleged victims and other witnesses concerning supposed incidents spanning the last 12 years.
Several women told the Forward that they believed they had been assured by Praesidium, as well as by a high-ranking RCA official, that their names would be kept confidential.
Praesidium officials declined to comment.
Sources familiar with the case, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that after Tendler's lawyer, Kriss, demanded the document, the RCA decided to give Praesidium's report to Tendler without consulting the women. Kriss contended that he had a right to prepare a defense for his client, and an RCA legal adviser agreed, the sources said.
Kriss refused to discuss the report during a phone interview with the Forward last week. "I certainly have no comment as to whether there is or there isn't a report," he said.
According to sources familiar with the situation, in June the RCA hired Praesidium in an attempt to assure all parties that the investigation was impartial. The firm boasts of having investigated more than 400 cases of abuse, including cases involving the pedophile scandal that rocked the Catholic Church.
Several women said that they were interviewed by Praesidium's senior vice president, Jane Hickerson.
Hickerson declined to discuss the company's general policies and procedures in handling abuse cases, including issues of confidentiality. "Our standard policy is we don't respond," to media questions, she said last week. Hickerson referred questions to Monica Applewhite, president of the company's religious service