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Jewish Articles
Sex ed program for Orthodox disabled aims at protecting vulnerable population
By Jacob Berkman
Jewish Standard - May 4, 2006
TEANECK, N.J., May 4 (JTA) — "Chaim" is an extraordinary boy, says his mother. The youngest of six children in an Orthodox home in northern New Jersey, he is charming, has a wonderful sense of humor, a part-time job at a local supermarket, and a black belt in karate. And he has a lot of the typical tiffs with his parents that other 18-year-old boys have — he wants a driver's license, he wants to attend a different synagogue than his parents, and he wants to go away to college.
But Chaim is not a typical 18-year-old. Within two hours of his birth, his doctors and his parents knew that he had Down Syndrome.
He is high functioning. He packs his own lunches to take to school at Sinai Special Needs Institute, he folds his own laundry, and he can cook for himself. But he reads only at a second-grade level, and his mother guesses that he computes math at a fourth- or fifth-grade level.
Still, his mother hopes that some day Chaim will move into a group home, and she hopes that, one day, he will even get married. The trouble is that he is already starting to discover his sexuality, and while his 18-year-old body may be ready for it, his elementary-school comprehension is not.
So, Chaim's mom gets a little concerned when she sees him turn his head when a pretty girl walks past. She gets a little more concerned when she has to confiscate advertisements featuring scantily clad women, and still more when she has to curtail his Internet privileges when she finds him looking at semi-pornographic Websites. And when she found that he was writing out detailed descriptions of sexual fantasies, she became very concerned.
Though her other religious sons might have played basketball or read or taken cold showers to distract themselves from sexual urges, Chaim does not have those options. And she is worried that he is getting frustrated.
"I don't want him to spend a lot of his waking hours thinking about sex. I don't think it's healthy for any child — but a normal kid has other outlets," she said. She also realizes, "I could just close my eyes and say, this doesn't exist.' But for me to say, `My son is retarded, so he doesn't know about these things,' is not true. He loves to talk to girls. He even has an on-and-off relationship with a girlfriend."
For those who do not live with, work with, or know people with special needs, it is easy to forget that they, like the rest of us, are sexual beings — that, as their bodies grow, they too hit puberty. But while most of us learn to deal with our physiological changes fairly quickly, those changes can be confusing and frustrating for the developmentally disabled who can't necessarily grasp what is happening, and can't necessarily learn how to cope with new feelings and urges.
The bigger problem is that, while most of us ignore the sexuality of the developmentally disabled, they are also the population that is at perhaps the greatest risk of becoming the victims of sexual abuse by predators who take advantage of their naivete.
That is why Sinai, which teaches elementary through post-high school students at campuses in Teaneck, Elizabeth and West Orange, N.J., has put together a curriculum to teach special-needs children — and specifically special-needs children from Orthodox homes — about their changing bodies, and about how to protect them.
The curriculum, laid out in "The Jewish Self — Sexual Education for Life," an illustrated 145-page manual, was designed by Rabbi Gil Elmaleh, who holds an master's in clinical psychology and a doctorate in social work. Before recently moving to Israel, he was with Sinai for 11 years and directed the school's therapeutic services. In addition, he had a private practice in New Jersey, through which he saw a large number of special-needs children.
He and school officials started developing the classes that would become "The Jewish Self" five years ago, after they became alarmed at the number of children from the Orthodox community who exhibited signs of sexual abuse. Some children were overtly sexual in ways they spoke and acted at home and at school. Others were acutely inhibited, afraid to take off their clothes in appropriate situations, or afraid to go to the gym. Others described discomfort in their genital region.
And Elmaleh saw victims of abuse ranging in age from 8 to 18.
The common denominator, he said, was that his patients and students, those who were the victims, did not know that certain parts of their bodies were meant to be private and that others are not allowed to touch them, and they did not have the language skills to communicate their fears or even to approach teachers or parents to describe what happened to them.
"By the fifth or sixth case, I was already feeling very frustrated," he said. "I also felt a lot of anger" that there was no guide out there.
But it was the abuse of one patient in particular, Elmaleh said, that forced him into action.
Five years ago, a Sinai student was brought into the psychologist's office because the student kept touching himself in class. Sinai teachers did not know how to deal with the boy, who was about 16, Elmaleh recalled.
When the psychologist sat down with the boy, he tried to explain to the student that there are certain body parts that one is not supposed to touch in public.
"`Just like no one else would touch you there, right?'" Elmaleh recalled asking the boy. He replied, "No, there is someone who touches me."
The student told Elmaleh that he would go with his father to a Jewish community center every Tuesday night. (Elmaleh is careful to note that this student came from outside of northern New Jersey, and that this JCC was not in New Jersey.) One night, while his father was swimming laps, the boy went to the JCC's locker room to sit in its sauna. There, another JCC member, a religious man, according to Elmaleh, molested the boy.
But the boy did not know that he was being violated. He only knew that the touches felt pleasurable, so every Tuesday night for about a year, he met up with the stranger and was molested.
"He did not know that this was a terrible thing," said Elmaleh.
More infuriating, said the psychologist, was that when he approached the boy's father to tell him that his son was the victim of long-term abuse, the father did not want to press charges against the abuser because he was afraid of the stigma surrounding the situation.
"Basically, the parents spoke with someone at the Jewish community center, and this individual was kicked out. But he will do the same thing to someone else, just somewhere else. It was infuriating," Elmalah said. "It broke my heart."
Sexual abuse for any victim is often psychologically damaging, but for the special needs child, the damage can be even more extensive.
Abuse can cause trauma, relationship issues, sexual issues — and, while many developmentally disabled people do get married and can have sexual relationships with their partners, as Chaim's parents hope he will, the experience of abuse can make those relationships very difficult, taking away their trust in others.
"When a child puts it all together and really understands what has happened to them and understands that their body was touched, it can take years of therapy to recover," said Elmaleh, who now is the director of Tochnit Eit Lilmod, a post-high-school program for students with learning difficulties and other special needs in Jerusalem.
"There is guilt with any victim, which comes from asking, `How could I have let this happen to me?' It is magnified in different ways with special needs children."
Abuse can also lead to bizarre dreams, regression, and neurosis, Elmaleh said, and, as in the case of this one boy, it can lead to inappropriate or strange behavior.
"He was touching himself in an inappropriate place because he learned it from a perpetrator," Elmaleh said. "Their whole understanding of sexuality gets skewed."
The developmentally disabled population is perhaps the most at risk and the most often sexually abused segment of our society, said Norman Reim, the spokesman for the New Jersey Council on Developmental Disabilities, a federally funded watchdog group that has similar chapters in every state. Eight years ago, his group published a study about the instances of abuse.
"When we did that, the numbers were staggering," he said. "In both sexes, abuse — not just sexual — is well over 50 percent, and upwards of three-quarters of the developmentally disabled have been abused in one way or another. We found that the instances of sexual abuse against females was up in the stratosphere. Some studies showed nearly 80 percent had been abused in one way or another."
According to statistics compiled from different studies by the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, some 83 percent of females and 32 percent of males with developmental disabilities have been sexually abused and 49 percent of those abused will be abused 10 or more times.
Even though, according to the Wisconsin group, more than 15 percent of all children sexually abused each year are developmentally disabled, society in general has been slow in addressing the problem, Reim said.
"There is not that sense of outrage for people with disabilities, and `Why?' is the $64,000 question," he said. "They are well supported by the public in certain areas, such as residential funding, but not in other areas, such as abuse and neglect. People feel that people with developmental disabilities are generally living in very supervised environments, and they consequently forget that abused children" who are not developmentally disabled are generally abused in familiar environments, he said. "That is where abuse happens. It is often the caretaker or someone they know who is abusing them."
Elmaleh said that in his research, he could not find exact numbers about how often sexual abuse of the developmentally disabled occurs within the Jewish and particularly the Orthodox communities.
"We don't have data in the Jewish community because often, unfortunately, the Jewish community, and especially the Orthodox community, does not want to go public because of the fear" of stigma, Elmaleh said, adding that there is nothing to suggest that abuse happens at a lower rate in the Jewish community than it does in the general community. "We tend to keep things quiet."
The Orthodox community has started to deal with sexual abuse in its schools and youth groups after former NCSY leader Baruch Lanner was convicted of sexual abuse. But it is still slow to act on the abuse of the developmentally disabled, he said — though the community has become good about pointing a finger at instances of possible abuse.
The trouble is that sometimes the concern is alarmist. As Elmaleh says, "just because someone has a private discussion with a child... does not mean there was sexual abuse. It is important not to point the finger at anyone unless an appropriate assessment has taken place by professionals who work with these populations. The consequences of an error is devastating and destructive, both to the alleged perpetrator and the child."
That is part of the reason Sinai's dean of students, Laurette Rothwachs, almost had to force the curriculum on her faculty and the school's parents.
"It's the world we live in, but it's hard for people to deal with this issue, and it's especially hard for people in the Orthodox community, where modesty is such a driving force. They just shy away from dealing with the issue," she said. "We had to force it on them by offering it to the students and parents and training them to be open."
Before developing the curriculum, Sinai taught health education but never dealt specifically with sex. So Elmaleh and school officials broached the subject with a pilot study shortly after his encounter with the boy who was sexually abused at a JCC. They taught parts of what would become the curriculum in group therapy sessions, starting first with the most basic lesson — the difference between private and public. And they spent time teaching their students to scream "No!" if they thought they were being approached inappropriately.
The Jewish Self curriculum teaches students what constitute public places — the synagogue, school bus, and school — and private places — the bedroom, bathroom, and closet. It teaches them to identify clothing worn in public — pants, jackets, and skirts — versus private clothing, such as underwear.
The Jewish Self manual teaches about public behavior, such as shopping and selecting food in the cafeteria, versus private behavior, such as using the bathroom and fixing one's skirt.
And then it teaches about public parts of the body, such as hands, fingers, and the face, versus the body's private parts — not shying away from teaching about these. The manual includes numerous drawings of naked and anatomically correct human bodies, both male and female, as well as instructions about how to teach how the penis and vagina function.
And it gives suggestions for how to teach about the changes a body undergoes during puberty, asking instructors, for instance, to have their students bring in pictures of themselves at different stages in life so they can see how they have changed.
The manual is geared toward the Orthodox, so the more graphic illustrations, such as the drawings of the naked body, and even of a boy masturbating, are covered by not-so-easily-removable paper and are clearly marked "For Females Only" or "For Males Only," where appropriate.
Elmaleh said that he drew from secular sex-ed manuals when designing Self, but had to modify it to fit an Orthodox perspective.
"In some manuals, the mindset is that it's okay to have sex if everyone is consensual. We don't believe that. We believe there is a time and a place — after marriage. This is not a how-to-have-sex manual," he said. "It is about prevention and awareness... understanding who you are and what the body is all about."
The issue of private touching was especially delicate. While other sex-ed manuals teach that masturbation is healthy when done properly, Elmaleh said that he had to figure out how to teach Orthodox students what masturbation is, and that it is not permissible, according to halachah.
Before starting on the manual, he consulted the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County and asked for members' permission and guidance, which he said he received wholeheartedly. He worked closely with Rabbi Benjamin Yudin of Congregation Shomrei Torah in Fair Lawn, and Rabbi Yaakov Neuberger of Cong. Beth Abraham in Bergenfield.
Rothwachs said that the curriculum is meant to be taught throughout the course of several years, and that each student is introduced to different parts of the curriculum only when the school, guidance counselors, and parents agree that the student is ready for it. The more advanced parts of the curriculum are generally taught only to older students, such as those living in Sinai's group home.
Rothwachs said that even with the curriculum, teaching Sinai children about sex is not as easy as simply showing diagrams and explaining things once or twice. It takes hours of repetition, and those who are teaching it at Sinai say that they often run into trouble with abstract ideas.
"I've had students not understand things like menstruation. For some students it can be confusing and even scary," said Heather Haggler, Sinai's director of therapeutic services. "I had one student who thought that she would bleed for seven months, and not seven days. She was petrified and did not want to get periods because she didn't understand that she was confusing" the timeframes of menstruation and pregnancy.
Haggler said that most of the questions that students pose have to deal with bodily function, and that she has to make her students understand that while some bodily functions are okay to speak about with a doctor, it is not appropriate to speak about them at synagogue.
Each student, though, is taught differently, she said. Some have one class a week, others have two or more 15-minute sessions per week, some are taught individually, and others in small groups, and as often as possible the school tries to have female teachers work with girls and male teachers work with boys.
"It's more challenging than teaching math, because math is black and white," she said.
But the school has seen results, Elmaleh said. Students tend to behave more modestly around each other, and Haggler said that students now come to her with questions about how others are behaving.
Officials hope that they can help boys like Chaim understand their own bodies and stay safe, and they hope that other schools and organizations that work with Orthodox special-needs children pick up the manual, which they are now making available for sale to the public.
Chaim's mother said that while she was concerned — for all of her kids — that they might get into a situation where they could be abused, she is more afraid for Chaim. She is also concerned that he might do something inappropriate because, for instance, he doesn't understand that he can't hug just anyone.
"The Mishnah says that the wise person is one who can see the consequence in his actions," she said. "Chaim is not wise that way."
The curriculum has helped alleviate some of her fears. And she thinks that it has helped Chaim understand that he cannot talk about what he has learned about sex with kids who are younger than he is.
"I think anyone who has an ounce of common sense in their head, knows you can't pretend that these boys don't have urges," she said. "It's unrealistic."
For more information about The Jewish Self and how to deal with sexual abuse of the developmentally disabled, e-mail Eitlilmod@hotmail.com or Info@SINAIinstitute.org or visit www.sinaiinstitute.org
Articles
People with Mental Retardation & Sexual Abuse
by Leigh Ann Reynolds, M.S.S.W., M.P.A.
Health Promotion & Disability Prevention Specialist
http://TheArc.org/faqs/Sexabuse.html
Sexual abuse includes a wide range of sexual activities that are forced upon someone. People with mental retardation are often unable to choose to stop abuse due to a lack of understanding of what is happening during abuse, the extreme pressure to acquiesce out of fear, a need of acceptance from the abuser or having a dependent relationship with the abuser. Sexual abuse consists of sexually inappropriate and non-consensual actions, such as exposure to sexual materials (such as pornography), the use of inappropriate sexual remarks/language, not respecting the privacy (physical boundaries) of a child or individual (e.g., walking in on someone while dressing or in the bathroom), fondling, exhibitionism, oral sex and forced sexual intercourse (rape).
How often are people with mental retardation sexually abused?
According to research, most people with disabilities will experience some form of sexual assault or abuse (Sobsey & Varnhagen, 1989). The rate of sexual victimization in the general population is alarming, yet largely goes unnoticed. At least 20 percent of females and 5 to 10 percent of males are sexually abused every year in the U.S. Although these figures are disturbingly high, people with mental retardation and other developmental disabilities are at an even greater risk of sexual victimization. Victims who have some level of intellectual impairment are at the highest risk of abuse (Sobsey & Doe, 1991).
More than 90 percent of people with developmental disabilities will experience sexual abuse at some point in their lives. Forty-nine percent will experience 10 or more abusive incidents (Valenti-Hein & Schwartz, 1995). Other studies suggest that 39 to 68 percent of girls and 16 to 30 percent of boys will be sexually abused before their eighteenth birthday. The likelihood of rape is staggering: 15,000 to 19,000 of people with developmental disabilities are raped each year in the United States (Sobsey, 1994).
Why is sexual abuse so common among people with mental retardation?
People with mental retardation may not realize that sexual abuse is abusive, unusual or illegal. Consequently, they may never tell anyone about sexually abusive situations. People with and without disabilities are often fearful to openly talk about such painful experiences due to the risk of not being believed or taken seriously. They typically learn not to question caregivers or others in authority. Sadly, these authority figures are often the ones committing the abuse. Many special education programs have encouraged students to be compliant in a wide range of life activities, ultimately increasing the child's vulnerability to abuse (Turnbull, et.al., 1994). They often think they have no right to refuse sexually abusive treatment and are not taught risk reduction skills. Risk factors associated with sexual abuse include social powerlessness, communication skill deficits, impaired judgment, family isolation/stress and living arrangements that increase vulnerability.
Bruises in genital areas
Genital discomfort
Sexually transmitted disease
Signs of physical abuse
Torn or missing clothing
Unexplained pregnancy
Depression
Substance abuse
Withdrawal
Atypical attachment
Avoids specific setting
Seizures
Avoids specific adults
Excessive crying spell
Regression
Sleep disturbances
Disclosure
Poor self-esteem
Noncompliance
Eating disorders
Resists exam
Self-destructive behavior
Headaches
Learning difficulty
Sexually inappropriate behavior
Alcohol or drug abuse by caregiver
Devaluing attitudes
Excessive or inappropriate eroticism
Isolation of social unit
Other forms of abuse
Previous history of abuse
Seeks isolated contact with children
Strong preference for children
Surrogate caregivers
Unresolved history of abuse
Pornography usage
Adapted from Violence and Abuse in the Lives of People with Disabilities (1994), D. Sobsey.
What are the effects of sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse causes harmful psychological, physical and behavioral effects (see above chart). Individuals who experience long-term (chronic) abuse by a known, trusted adult at an early age suffer more severe damage compared to those whose abuse is perpetrated by someone not well known to the victim, begins later in life, and is less frequent and nonviolent (Tower, 1989). Regardless of the circumstances surrounding sexual abuse (e.g., length of time it occurred, who the abuser is and the victim's age), all forms of sexual abuse are serious and have the potential to be very damaging to the individual if left unaddressed and unspoken.
As is the case for people without disabilities who experience sexual abuse, those most likely to abuse are those who are known by the victim, such as family members, acquaintances, residential care staff, transportation providers and personal care attendants. Research suggests that 97 to 99 percent of abusers are known and trusted by the victim who has developmental disabilities (Baladerian, 1991).
While in 32 percent of cases, abusers were family members or acquaintances, 44 percent had a relationship with the victim specifically related to the person's disability (such as residential care staff, transportation providers and personal care attendants). Therefore, the delivery system created to meet specialized care needs of those with mental retardation contributes to the risk of sexual abuse.
What type of treatment or therapy is available for victims of sexual abuse?
People with developmental disabilities who have been sexually abused typically are not provided a way to "work through" or talk about their traumatic experiences in a treatment or therapeutic setting. Generally, the more severe the disability, the greater the difficulty in accessing services. This may be due to prejudices some people still have about people with disabilities. For example, the benefit of psychotherapy for people with mental retardation is questioned, as well as the impact of the abuse (whether or not abuse impacts people with mental retardation as strongly as others without disabilities).
Yet, all people who experience sexual abuse are affected and can benefit from therapeutic counseling, even if they are non-verbal. Children and adults who suffer abuse need to learn how to tell someone and who to tell. A variety of training techniques that teach self-defense, body integrity, prevention and reporting should be used. Human service workers must understand that people with developmental disabilities can and do benefit from therapy.
Locating a qualified therapist may be difficult since the person should be trained in both child/adult sexual abuse, as well as disabilities and sexuality. Payment for the therapy can be obtained through victim witness programs, community mental health centers or developmental disability centers.
How can the incidence of sexual abuse of people with mental retardation be reduced?
Society has been slow to admit that sexual abuse of people with mental retardation is not only possible, but actually happening (Baladerian, 1992).
The first step in reducing the occurrence of sexual abuse is recognizing the magnitude of the problem and confronting the ugly truth that people with mental retardation and other developmental disabilities are more vulnerable to sexual victimization than those without disabilities.
Abusers typically abuse as many as 70 people before ever getting caught. Without reporting, there can be no prosecution of offenders or treatment for victims. Underreporting of sexual abusive incidents involving people with disabilities has in the past, and continues to be, a major obstacle in preventing sexual abuse. Only three percent of sexual abuse cases involving people with developmental disabilities will ever be reported (Valenti-Hein & Schwartz, 1995). Few people ever disclose sexual abuse for a variety of understandable reasons. However, such non-disclosure promotes an environment ripe for continued victimization.
Reporting can be increased through educating individuals with disabilities and service providers, improving investigation and prosecution, creating a safe environment that allows victims to disclose and, finally, employment policies must change to increase safety. For example, background checks on new employees should be conducted on a routine basis; and those with criminal records should be reported to the police, rather than firing the suspected abuser. Otherwise the individual will more than likely continue abusing others while working for future employers.
What should I do if I suspect sexual abuse?
All states have laws requiring professionals, such as institutional care providers, police officers and teachers to report abuse. All states allow the general public to report abuse as well. If you suspect a child is being sexually abused, contact your local child protective agency. If the person is an adult, contact adult protective services. These are also referred to as "Social Services," "Human Services" or "Children and Family Services" in the phone book. You do not need proof to file a report. If you believe the person is in immediate danger, call the police. After a report is made, the incident is referred for investigation to the state social service agency (who handles civil investigations) or to the local law enforcement agency (who handles criminal investigations). For more information on sexual abuse of people with disabilities, contact:
References
Baladerian, N. (1991). Sexual abuse of people with developmental disabilities. Sexuality and Disability, 9(4), 323-335.
Baladerian, N. (1992). Interviewing skills to use with abuse victims who have developmental disabilities. Washington, D.C.: National Aging Resource Center on Elder Abuse.
Sobsey, D. (1994). Violence and abuse in the lives of people with disabilities: The end of silent acceptance? Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co
Sobsey, D. & Doe, T. (1991). Patterns of sexual abuse and assault. Sexuality and Disability, 9 (3), 243-259.
Sobsey, D. & Varnhagen, C. (1989). Sexual abuse and exploitation of people with disabilities: Toward prevention and treatment. In M. Csapo and L. Gougen (Eds.) Special Education Across Canada (pp.199-218). Vancouver: Vancouver Centre for Human Developmental and Research.
Tower, C. (1989). Understanding child abuse and neglect. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Turnbull, H., Buchele-Ash, A., & Mitchell, L (1994). Abuse and neglect of children with disabilities: A policy analysis. Lawrence, Kansas: Beach Center on Families and Disability, The University of Kansas.
Valenti-Hein, D. & Schwartz, L. (1995). The sexual abuse interview for those with developmental disabilities. James Stanfield Company. Santa Barbara: California.
The Arc would like to thank Dick Sobsey, R.N., Ed.D. and Nora Baladerian, Ph.D. for reviewing this document.
Abuse of disabled tough to
prosecute
By Jason Warick
The Star Phoenix - Friday, February 21, 1997
A mentally disabled woman has lost a four-year battle for justice.
The woman, who has cerebral palsy and is believed to have the intellectual ability of a 14-year-old, alleged that she had been sexually abused by her father between 1977 and 1992.
The man was charged, but just days before his trial date in 1993 the case was withdrawn by the prosecution.
The Crown said the woman had given several different versions of what had happened.
Under pressure from the woman's family and advocates for the disabled, the Justice Department ordered an independent review.
After considering the review by Saskatoon lawyer Holly Ann Knott, Justice Minister John Nilson advised the woman's mother recently there isn't sufficient evidence to justify a board of inquiry into her complaint that the justice system discriminated against her daughter because she is disabled.
Justice officials refused to comment on the decision not to proceed with the complaint through the human rights commission.
Advocates say "Sheri's" case is a perfect example of how justice is often denied to disabled people.
"People with disabilities tend to be more vulnerable and (therefore) compliant, but we can't just dismiss an entire group of people," said Karin Melberg Schwier of the Saskatchewan Association for Community Living (SACL).
"We can't say they're not believable therefore, we can't do anything with (their testimony).
"It's a giant loophole for people who abuse and exploit people with disabilities. They can think that person's not going to be believed anyway."
SACL and other groups are working to tear down the roadblocks for Sheri and other disabled victims of abuse.
They have launched a national campaign they hope will make people realize how prevalent abuse of the disabled is, how difficult it is for them to come forward, and how their cries for help are too often thwarted by the justice system.
A 1995 study commissioned by the national Association for Community Living found that across the country, 83 per cent of women with disabilities will be sexually abused in their lifetime.
The findings were echoed in a University of Alberta study which found that people with disabilities are five times more likely to suffer sexual abuse than the general population.
Volunteers working on the "Reality Check" campaign have collected over 600 signatures and donations from across Canada.
The signatures and several testimonials will be featured in a full-page ad in the Globe and Mail in the fall.
Melberg Schwier and two others who started the campaign just over a year ago aim to collect a total of 1,500 signatures.
Sheri's mother, "Fay," vows to continue her daughter's fight for justice.
Justice for disabled questioned
"It's been tough," Fay said of her daughter's four-year battle. "But in every aspect of her life, we've had to fight. I don't see this for her but for others."
Fay believes her daughter's disability made it easier for her father to abuse her.
Sheri told police that the incest began in 1979 when she was 16.
She alleged that her father had intercourse with her during weekend overnight visits. The last assault occurred in 1992, she said.
Sheri came forward later that year with her story.
Since then, Fay said they have run into countless roadblocks in trying to bring Sheri's father to justice.
After telling a worker in her group home, Sheri gave a videotaped statement to Saskatoon police, and then a verbal statement to Melfort police, where the abuse allegedly occurred.
It took until November to charge the man with one count of incest.
Sheri was not allowed to submit her videotaped disclosure to Saskatoon police at the preliminary hearing.
While there are provisions in the Criminal Code allowing children to give videotaped testimony, none exist for the disabled.
After much encouragement, Sheri tearfully chronicled the abuse again on the witness stand for four and a half hours.
The judge ruled there was enough evidence to go to trial, but days before the trial, prosecutors notified her mother that they couldn't proceed to trial because Sheri's testimony had "too many inconsistencies."
"If you were to read transcripts of the evidence, I think the reasoning would be clear," the accused man's lawyer, Bill Selnes said at the time.
Outraged, Fay wrote letters to judges, politicians, the provincial justice minister, and many others.
She said her daughter's testimony was consistent, but her speech and thought patterns were different from other people. For example, Sheri would say something happened when the leaves were brown, meaning it happened in the fall.
"It's not meaningless. It was a different way of expressing herself.
"This is where lawyers and judges need to be educated. They know about every other area. Nobody is being made accountable, both the abusers and the justice system."
Advocates for the disabled say things are improving, but many roadblocks still exist.
There is now a protocol to help officials deal with people with severe communication problems.
There is also a provincial steering committee to look at issues involving disabled people in the justice system.
Melberg Schwier said small adjustments like allowing videotaped testimony, educating police on how to conduct an interview, and having someone present during testimony to "translate" for the disabled person.
Crown prosecutor Jeff Kalmakoff, who has assisted people with intellectual disabilities in the court process, urges the use of interpreters, signers, computer equipment, and drawing pads during testimony for those who need them.
"The courtroom can be an intimidating place at the best of times. It can be even more so for people with intellectual or communication disabilities," Kalmakoff wrote in a recent edition of the SACL publication Dialect.
Melberg Schwier said police "are getting much better" dealing with people with disabilities.
SACL gives a session to RCMP trainees at the academy in Regina and consults with city police on individual cases.
Melberg Schwier and Kalmakoff admitted there may be cases where it's just not possible to get valid testimony, but these small innovations would make the system more fair for those with disabilities.
Saskatoon lawyer James Morrison said while the rights of the disabled must be respected, it's important not to lose sight of the rights of the accused.
"It doesn't matter who it is. You're still stuck following the rules of evidence and whether the witness is mentally competent," said Morrison, who has handled cases involving the intellectually disabled.
"It's a very grey issue."
Morrison said lawyers usually try to discredit the disabled when testifying against their client, but he said judges "have been most patient" and "fair" when dealing with such cases.
(Top)
All Agreed the Retarded Woman Was
Raped: Case Closed
Victim's ability to testify in doubt
By Raja Mishra, Globe Staff
The Boston Globe - June 10, 2001
The wisp of a woman sat silent in her wheelchair.
Doctors, nurses, social workers, and police bustled in and out of the Brigham and Women's Hospital examination room that March 1998 morning, all with the same conclusion: She was raped.
Severely retarded, paralyzed, and practically mute, the 36-year-old woman usually thrived on affection, fixing her playful brown eyes and toothy grin on strangers. But that morning she was ashen.
Leaning beside the wheelchair, her mother whispered, "Who hurt you, baby?"
The woman hesitated, then stammered the first name of a caretaker at her state-funded residential home, recalled the mother. But despite what everyone in the room concluded, there would be no prosecution, no arrest, and no further investigation. Case closed.
A social worker dutifully typed out a report, listing the evidence indicating rape, explaining the case would not proceed. He concluded: "It should also be taken into account that there may be a perpetrator currently employed at the residence."
"It breaks my heart," said the Boston police officer who decided to abandon the woman's case.
The case offers a dramatic example of how the criminal justice system often fails the disabled. Her sexual assault was only the latest blow in a difficult journey through the state's social services system.
"I didn't know anything was wrong at first," said the mother, who now lives in Nashua, about her daughter's birth.
Neighbors in Mattapan, where the family lived in a small apartment, noticed that the infant rarely cried. She didn't even try to crawl. A local doctor was puzzled, sending the girl off to Children's Hospital for tests.
Over the years, her retardation progressively worsened and the cause remained a mystery. But the girl got by. Her five sisters and brother taught her to talk and care for herself. She attended a special-needs school. In many ways, she was like girls her age. But then there were the tantrums. As she grew in size, her outbursts frightened the family. In 1984, at age 19, the girl was institutionalized.
"It was the worst day of my life," said the mother. "But I couldn't care for her anymore."
One day, at her group home in Lee, the girl threw a nasty tantrum. The normal detention room was closed, so the administrators put her in a second-floor bedroom.
The girl tried to escape, pushing through a screen, according to her mother. The fall paralyzed her from the neck down and markedly diminished her ability to speak. Her slurred phrases were reduced to monosyllabic grunts with her mother and sisters. With everyone else, she screamed.
Her adult life unfolded in a series of group homes run by Vinfen, a private, Cambridge-based company specializing in such facilities. It was in a Dorchester group home, during a morning bath, that her attendant noticed cuts on and around the woman's vagina, according to state documents. The attendant did nothing.
The next day, a visiting nurse noticed the injury, as well as bruises on her thigh, flagging them as signs of sexual assault, according to documents.
She was taken to a specialist at Brigham and Women's Hospital where a rape test was performed, but it came up negative, according to documents. Unfortunately, investigators noted, she was bathed after the suspected rape, likely washing away any physical evidence.
Meanwhile, state authorities investigating the Dorchester home found something odd: The house's cable TV system was upgraded to include the Playboy and Spice adult channels, according to documents. Several staff members admitted to watching sexually explicit movies while on the job. But no one confessed to assaulting the woman.
The woman told her mother that one of the staff members hurt her. Four medical specialists concluded that she had been pinned down and sexually violated, according to documents.
But Boston police detectives assigned to the case already had cold feet. There was no hard evidence, so the woman's testimony would be crucial—and she could only utter thick-tongued moans. There was no prosecution.
Today, the woman lives in another Boston group home. Her mother visits every other week. "In my heart, I know they won't get away with it," she said. "You reap what you sow."
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Last Updated: 05/08/2006
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