Juvenile Sex Offenders
and
Sexually Reactive Youth
Children and young people who display sexually harmful behaviour --
NSPCC
Research studies show that between 25-40 per cent of all alleged sexual abuse involves young perpetrators.
The majority of those who display sexually harmful behaviour are adolescent males, but young children and females also commit sexually harmful acts. There are few figures regarding the ethic origin of children with sexually harmful behaviour. Children and young people with learning disabilities are over-represented within this group but the reason why is not fully understood.
Sexual behaviour as displayed by children and young people exists on a continuum from mutually agreed experimentation through to harmful, abusive exploitation.
The majority of these children and young people have been or are being sexually, physically and/or emotionally abused themselves.
Statement of Problem (National Clearinghouse on Abuse
and Neglect Information)
Children exhibiting sexual behavior problems are increasingly being referred for treatment. Some of these children have a history of sexual abuse; the abuse history, as well as their own inappropriate sexual behaviors, may place them at risk of becoming sexual offenders as they mature. Evidence that sexually aggressive behavior patterns may emerge in pre-adolescent years has been supported by a study conducted in the state of Washington. In this study of 73 sexually aggressive youth, 26% were children between the ages of 6 and 12 (Division of Children, Youth, & Family Services, 1987).
Although the research is minimal at this time, it is apparent that sexual behavior problems in young children exist and that these behaviors are possibly associated with the development of offending behaviors in adolescence and adulthood.
The current published literature refers to these children as child perpetrators (Johnson, 1988), children who molest (Johnson & Berry, 1989), sexually reactive children (Friedrich, 1990), and juvenile sex offenders. The term "children with sexual behavior problems" appears to be more appropriate and descriptive for two reasons. First, current knowledge about these children and the etiology of their sexual behavior is limited, and second, due to their young age, they are typically not charged with a sexual offense.
Sexual behaviors in young children fall along a continuum from age-appropriate exploration to highly aggressive sexual behaviors. Sexually aggressive behaviors in young children include forcing younger children to undress and sexually experiment with siblings and peers (e.g., Pomeroy, Behar, & Stewart, 1981; Smith & Israel, 1987). Johnson (1989) described 13 girls ages 4 to 13, all with a history of sexual abuse whose sexual behaviors involved the use of coercion or force with an average of 3.5 child victims. Two studies on sexually aggressive boys indicated that their behaviors are similar to older sex offenders and that these boys all used coercion to gain the victims' compliance (Friedrich & Luecke, 1988; Johnson, 1988). Inappropriate or aggressive sexual behaviors have been reported more frequently in sexually abused children; the history of sexual abuse discriminates them from normal, physically abused, and psychiatric child populations (Friedrich, Beilke, & Urquiza, 1987; Gale, Thompson, Moran, & Sack, 1988; Goldston, Turnquist, & Knutson, 1989; Kolko, Moser, & Weldy, 1988).
Currently, there is a paucity of information on treatment approaches specifically designed to address sexually aggressive behaviors in young children. Johnson and Berry (1989) described a group treatment program with activities focused on cognitive and affective dimensions, while another approach used the cycle of reoffense model which teaches the children to recognize and avert the cycle (Isaac, 1990). Neither study has treatment outcome data available at this time.
Although the literature focuses on children with significant sexual behavior problems, these behaviors appear to fall along a continuum from normal sexual behavior to inappropriate sexual behavior to sexually aggressive behavior. A classification system for problematic sexual behaviors in children has been proposed which delineates three levels of disturbance: precocious, inappropriate, and coercive sexual behaviors (Berliner, Manaois, & Monastersky, 1986). These three levels are described below:
Precocious sexual behavior involves behaviors such as oral-genital contact or intercourse between pre-adolescents with no evidence of force or coercion. This behavior may be a temporary, unsocialized response to victimization or a response to exposure to sexually explicit behavior. It may cease upon disclosure, increased supervision, or therapeutic intervention. These children should have further assessment to determine the necessity and level of appropriate intervention.
Inappropriate sexual behavior includes persistent and/or public masturbation, excessive interest or preoccupation with sexual matters, and highly sexualized behavior or play. These children may be in the incipient process of developing a deviant sexual arousal pattern. Intervention for these children would depend on the frequency, persistence, and consequences of the behavior.
Coercive sexual behavior refers to sexual acts in which force is used or threatened, or where a significant disparity in development or size exists. These children may engage in sexually aggressive behavior in conjunction with other antisocial activity. The sexual behavior may be more reflective of anger and hostility than a search for gratification. Children with coercive sexual behavior are seen as requiring immediate, intensive intervention.
In summary, the literature on children ages 6 to 12 with sexual behavior problems is quite limited. There have been no studies of large numbers of these children in order to assess the existence of a continuum of inappropriate sexual behavior and few attempts have been made to establish a typology. Additionally, there has been no clear relationship established between early childhood sexual victimization and the development of sexually aggressive behavior in children. Further, there are no empirical studies comparing different approaches to treatment with this population of children.
Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation
or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet
their own personal needs.
Articles - Jewish
Can Sex Offenders Ever Be Cured? (August 7, 2002)
When A Family Member Molests: Reality, Conflict, and The Need For Support (October, 2003)
When Melodies, Torah Scholars, and Abuse Collide (March, 2003)
Articles on Symptoms - Secular
Treatment Programs for Juvenile Sex Offenders and Sexually Reactive Youth - Secular Resources
Resources for Parents and Family members of Juvenile Sex Offenders and Sexually Reactive Youth - Secular Resources
Policies Addressing Victimization and Offenders - Jewish
Legal Resources - Secular Resources
Adult Sex Offender Resources - Jewish
Clergy Abuse: Rabbis, Cantors and Other Trusted Officials (list of various cases in Jewish communities)
Also see:
What is Sexually Reactive Youth
behavior?
When a child touches other children in a sexual way that is not age-appropriate.
Shows excessive interest/curiosity in sex that overrides other activities.
When a child continues to have sexual behaviors even after being re-directed by an adult.
Talks excessively about sexuality, or has inappropriate knowledge of sexuality for their age.
Harms or touches animals in a sexual way.
Exchanges gifts or shows affection to others in order to have sexual contact, either to other children or adults.
Touches a child 3 years younger or someone from a vulnerable population by displaying more power & control.
Excessive masturbation.
Myths and Facts about Sexually Reactive
Youth
Myth: Young kids are just curious.
Fact: When children force or coerce others or are unable to stop sexual behaviors, this is a sign of a sexual behavior problem.
Myth: Children will grow out of it.
Fact: Relying on this hope jeopardizes the safety of your child and others.
Myth: My child would never force another to do anything sexual.
Fact: Force can include words, coercion, pressure, bribes, or tricks.
Myth: My child was not abused.
Fact: Children can be exposed to sex without being sexually abused physically. Exposure to pornography or witnessing adult sexuality can affect a child's behavior.
Myth: My child does exactly what I say and this will never happen again.
Fact: Parental control is important but is not the simple answer. Kids need to learn new beliefs and skills so they can cope when a parent is not available to guide them.
Reasons Kids Have Sexually Reactive Youth Behaviors:
Sexually Reactive Behaviors may occur when a child has been exposed to sexually explicit material, environments or has been victimized, and is attempting to cope with his or her own overwhelming feelings. This behavior can put the child and others at risk. Please read below to see examples of circumstances that may initiate or support reactive behavior.
The following are only a few examples:
Confusion based on what they see on TV, videos, video games, internet, or magazines.
Have been sexually abused by direct physical contact or subject to witnessing sexual abuse.
Live in sexually explicit environments in which sex has been witnessed and related in a negative manner.
Witness to Domestic Violence.
Exposure to pornography or being used by an older person for pornography.
Other Behaviors Your Child May Display:
Aggressive behaviors
Problems following rules
Poor physical boundaries in general
Problems understanding the feeling of others or empathizing with them
Problems at school, home, or with friends.
Sexually Aggressive Behaviors may occur when a child begins to pair sexual behaviors with threats, coercion, or physical harm, he or she could be considered sexually aggressive.
Reasons to Get Help
If your child is a victim of child sexual abuse and is acting out sexually, he or she can learn new coping skills.
Some sexual exploration between same-age children is normal. If you are worried that your child has sexually reactive or sexually aggressive behaviors you can get help to determine whether the behaviors are within normal limits.
Children who have sexual behavior problems are not adult sex offenders. Early evaluation and treatment will help eliminate inappropriate sexual behaviors.
Sexually reactive children are often victims who need to learn new coping skills and behaviors.
Parents need support and help understanding what is happening with their child and/or in their family.
Sexually reactive children behaviors rarely happen only once.
Children who do not get help are at risk to be re-victimized and/or to re-offend.
Counseling increases the chances of having healthier happier adult relationships.
By Dan Williams
The Jerusalem Post - April 28, 2000, Friday, FEATURES; Pg. 5B
Dan Williams spends a day at Sharon Prison's juvenile ward and talks to the boys and their caretakers about rehabilitation
A seat was left vacant at the Seder held in Sharon Prison's juvenile ward last week in memory of 17-year-old D., who had hanged himself in his isolation cell three days earlier.
The ward staff insisted on the gesture, having noticed that their own consternation at D.'s drastic act was not shared by the inmates.
"The boys accepted the suicide with equanimity," says Betty Lahat, warden of Sharon Prison. "They think he was very brave, and he's become something of an admired figure."
D., who was serving a two-year sentence for assault, was put into isolation after almost killing another inmate in a fight.
"The others know that D. always carried everything to the extreme, and now they figure that he just wanted to end it all," Lahat adds.
Though suicides are rare events at the ward, according to its director, Itamar Yefet, at any one time there are about 30 boys on the "danger list." These are closely monitored to make sure they don't harm themselves or others, and anything in their possession that could be used as a weapon is confiscated.
Nonetheless, Lahat says, if an inmate is determined to kill himself, ultimately he will succeed. Besides, she says, the problem exists well beyond the prison walls. Conversations with her own teenage son have convinced her that "boys of this age haven't any value for life."
This truism seems to be borne out by the fact that Israel has no similar facility for girls.
And the hazards of puerile recklessness and rebellion are magnified tenfold at the Sharon Prison's juvenile ward, the country's only facility for under-aged felons. That's why, say both Lahat and Yefet, a special mix of vigilance, strictness, and sensitivity is required at all times.
THERE are approximately 100 boys aged 14 to 17 at the ward, the number varying as arrested juveniles are brought in for lockup pending trial. They are kept in complete isolation from Sharon's 400 adult inmates.
Most of the young convicts are serving three month- to three-year terms for larceny or drug offenses, some four- to seven-year terms for rape, a handful 25 years for murder.
The ward is divided into three cell blocks: Brosh is the most spare, housing new arrivals and inmates who have been punished or isolated from the others for their own protection, while Erez and Gefen are decorated and more comfortable, allowing the inmates to mingle.
The boys bunk two to a cell, but sometimes a third friend will sleep on a mattress on the floor.
Apart from the bars in the windows, the cells, with their music posters, pin-ups, and coffee paraphernalia, recall the accommodation at many Israeli boarding schools.
Most of the boys come from broken homes, Yefet says, where they never learned the importance of trust.
"From the beginning, we match each with a cellmate we feel will not influence him for the worse, and with whom he can develop a rapport," he says.
Often, Yefet adds, a boy will warn the staff if his cellmate is feeling despondent or is at risk of committing suicide because of a fight he had with the others, helping prevent tragedy.
Roll-call, lock-up, and lights-out is at 9 p.m., and at 7 a.m the inmates are woken up for breakfast. The food - standard three-course fare, much like at kibbutzim or army bases - is delivered from the main prison refectory, and the boys are also given snacks throughout the day.
Twice a month, they can buy their own supply of chocolates, chips, and other junk food at a canteen set up especially for them. Chewing gum, however, is off-limits, lest it be used to block up keyholes.
The boys' currency is tokens they earn for good behavior or for doing errands around the compound. They are also awarded for attending matriculation classes given by teachers from the ORT school system, at an enviable ratio of eight pupils to a teacher.
There are further education opportunities in the weight room, in the kitchen, and, as of this month, in the NIS 300,000 computer room.
"To us, one juvenile inmate is like 10 adult prisoners in terms of expense, but there's no other choice," says Yefet. "Look outside, at how much is invested in children; their schooling, clothes, activities. We have to give these kids the same investment so they can return to the world."
"FOR YOUTHS, the whole legal system is different," says Prisons Service spokeswoman Levana Levy-Shay. "From the courts, the social services, to the Labor and Social Affairs Ministry's juvenile department, they separate them from other criminals."
More than 30,000 police files involving juveniles were opened in 1999, up 8 percent from the previous year, completing a decade in which youth crime rose significantly every year. However, Dep.-Cmdr. Suzy Ben-Baruch, head of the Israel Police Juvenile Crime Section, says that the statistics paradoxically reflect the success of enforcement efforts.
"Following all the murders of children by children over the past two years - in Rishon Lezion, Upper Nazareth, and Jerusalem - there was a national outcry, and we increased our staff and operation," she says.
"Because there is more work in the field, more crime is uncovered."
The police's Unit for Preventing Youth Crime has been doubled in size, and the 70 juvenile units nationwide have been beefed up with volunteers, social workers, and special agents who monitor street gangs.
Moreover, six new regional detective units have been opened, and half have already infiltrated some 200 high schools to break up drug rings.
Dr. Malka Alek of Bar-Ilan University's psychology faculty concurs with Ben-Baruch's assessment.
"I think there is more crime," she says, "but there is also greater awareness and concern, and greater willingness to uncover criminal incidents by agencies that feared they would be seen as not so good; for example, schools that feared the bad press of exposing crimes in their midst."
Alek believes the various agencies dealing with troubled youths - the welfare officers, the boarding schools and halfway homes - should coordinate their efforts better. However, at the same time, she notes approvingly that the system uses incarceration in the juvenile ward only as a last resort.
THOSE inmates who turn 18 before serving out their sentence are transferred to a normal penitentiary, sometimes joining the adult inmates of Sharon Prison.
Otherwise, there is no overlap between the two prisoner communities. Even arranging for the boys to use the prison's sports pitch requires elaborate coordination to ensure they don't come into contact with their grown-up counterparts.
This confinement, says Yefet, is a deliberate effort to turn the ward into "a sort of greenhouse," where a new sense of responsibility and pride can be cultivated in the boys before they are returned to normal society.
The exception to this is the Shalhevet program, where an adult convict near the end of his term and who has passed a special training course speaks with the youths, offering himself as a cautionary example of where crime leads. There are also three psychologists on staff to provide counseling.
Given that many of the inmates have never had proper adult attention, they sometimes initially respond to the discipline with reflex rebellion.
According to Yefet, one favored form of inmate protest is carving their arms with pieces of wire. Recently, one boy bit a guard.
Lahat says the staff members have to be unyielding in punishing the boys, but are careful to be encouraging at the same time.
"If you give them a punishment, say isolation for a boy who threw boiling water on another inmate, they don't believe they'll come out of it," she says.
"They can begin to despair. You have to give them reason to be optimistic, tell them they'll get another chance."
The younger the criminal the more chance there is at rehabilitation, says Yefet, adding that once the boys reach their twenties the process gets harder. "At a young age, a boy is impressionable, he finds it hard to make decisions. But if you manage to get through to him, you get through all the way."
"GOD WILLING, my four-year sentence will be cut for good behavior," says Z., a soft-spoken 17-year-old who hopes to begin a career as a graphic designer.
He chats about the computer classes, the once-monthly visits from his siblings, and the tolerable schnitzel sandwiches. But he declines to discuss the reason for his incarceration - rape.
Similarly, 15-year-old S., who got 25 years for molesting and murdering a five-year-old girl, is reluctant to discuss his crime. He prefers to complain about the fact that Lahat, fearing he'll try to escape, has confined him to his cell block until the ward's main quadrangle is covered with fencing.
Lahat and Yefet are careful to treat sexual offenders, and other inmates whose crimes are especially repugnant, with the same decency afforded all the boys. But this does not mean the crime is forgotten.
"As long as he denies committing it, we don't even let him leave for furloughs," Lahat says. "And when he finally admits to it, he starts going though group therapy, run by a specialist in juvenile sex crimes.
"It's a very long-term process."
"Maybe he'll be able to get over his problem," adds Yefet.
"Maybe, thanks to treatment available here in the prison, where, after all, he'll spend six or seven years of his life, he'll develop some sort of mechanism to make sure there won't be another victim who suffers."
Alek claims such optimism is unfounded. "Imprisonment (in the juvenile ward) is completely worthless in terms of rehabilitation and treatment," she says. "The prison sentence is a sort of surrender."
Levy-Shay confirms that there is no reason to believe that Israel's 70 to 75 percent recidivism rate does not equally apply to juvenile convicts.
Nonetheless, the staff at the Sharon Prison juvenile ward remain determined to focus on that quarter-chance of rehabilitation.
"We'll give each inmate all the services available," says Yefet. "I don't see it as an indulgence, or that the institution is too pleasant or nice.
"We want to return him to society, if not completely reformed, then at least somehow improved."
Can Sex Offenders Ever Be
Cured?
Commonly Asked Questions About Sexual Abuse (Part Two)
By Yechezkel Chezi Goldberg
The Jewish Press - August 7, 2002
http://www.jewishpress.com/news_article.asp?article=1429
With specialized treatment and adequate support groups, a sex offender who accepts full accountability for his or her crime can learn to control his or her abusive behavior. The public holds the myth that sex offenders have the highest recidivism rate of any crime. In reality, the recidivism rate for most sex offenders is quite low, even lower when the abuser gets specialized treatment as part of his or her criminal sentence.
Like many other diseases and dysfunctions (like alcoholism) we cannot expect a cure, but we can expect and demand control of behavior throughout a lifetime. When people who abuse have the support and "tough love" of their friends and families, they are more likely to complete their treatment programs and live productive, abuse-free lives.
Ohel founded just such a program a few years ago in Brooklyn. After being approached by DA Charlie Hynes about secrecy in the Orthodox community, a secrecy that ends up protecting pedophiles from prosecution, Ohel took the initiative and created a program to answer the need. Any pedophile from the community brought before a judge is given the choice of entering the Ohel Support Program for Pedophiles, or going to jail. The last I spoke to David Mandel from Ohel about the program, there were 16 pedophiles who had molested thousands between them before entering the program.
Pedophiles have a disease. Ohel has taken the lead in offering them a way to live and overcome their lust disease. Those who would like more information about the program should contact Ohel directly.
Are All Sexual Abusers The Same? Do They All Pose The Same Risk To Re-Offend?
No, not all abusers are the same. Like any other population, there is a wide range of behavior and a variety of people who sexually abuse children.
It is important to keep in mind what the experts state about sexual abuse. Children who are abused, if they are not promptly treated therapeutically, will often turn around at some point in their lives and become abusers. Some will react this way sooner, and others will suddenly find themselves acting out sexually years later.
This is important for parents to know. ``Molestation`` is not something that goes away. Time itself does not heal victims of sexual abuse. As painful as it is to hear about one`s child being molested, and as much as parents of child sex abuse victims wish that the nightmare would just disappear, it is crucial to face the painful reality of what happened and to seek out competent treatment for any child who has suffered sexual abuse. This is to prevent the child from turning around and becoming an abuser and is to ensure that the perpetrator of the abuse does not roamfreely preying on other children.
There is a positive side to all of this. With specialized treatment and full accountability for their crimes, many abusers can change and never offend again. However, child sexual abuse in any form is a crime and must be dealt with first through the legal system.
There is no escaping the legal ramifications. People who are aware of sexual abuse that is ongoing and fail to report it to the authorities, are compromising themselves legally. If at some time in the future, police do get involved and in their investigations the law finds out that you knew and did not report, you can be held legally responsible.
That being said, ultimately, if a pedophile admits his problem, then we do what we can to help him get help. The goal is to get everyone who wants to change into the best treatment available and help him never to hurt a child again.
Why Do People Sexually Abuse Children?
People abuse children for a sense of power and a sense of pleasure. They may seek children to abuse because they have had a long history of sexual attraction to children, or because they took advantage of an opportunity to abuse a child in their trust. They may have started abusing because they had been abused before, or because they never learned that the behavior is wrong and is a crime.
How Can We Keep Our Children Safe From Sex Offenders?
We need to teach children about safety. We, as adults, also need to learn more about abuse and abusers. This is the first step. Read what you can about sexual abuse. Become wiser. Check out resources in your community. Surf the Internet to quickly gain access to more in-depth knowledge on the topic. Then, once you feel that you understand the basics, you can start to talk to your children about sexual abuse.
Here are some things that you and your family can do to prevent the sexual abuse of a child you know and love.
Adults need to:
Watch for signs of possible sexual abusiveness in adults, between adults and children, and in children.
Show by example in your own life, how to say "no" when someone you know and care about does something you do not like.
Set and respect family boundaries.
Speak up when you see "warning sign" behaviors.
Practice talking about difficult topics such as sexual abuse with other adults.
Teach children the proper names of body parts.
Teach children the difference between "ok touch" and touch that is "not ok".
Teach children that secrets about touching are "not ok."
Set up a family safety plan that is easy to remember.
Complete a list for yourself of whom to call for advice, information, and help.
Yechezkel Chezi Goldberg was a Jerusalem counselor. In his clinic he deals extensively as a counselor for overseas yeshiva, seminary and university students in Israel. Chezi was murdered on January 29, 2004 during a terrorist attack on the #19 bus in Jerusalem, Israel. Chezi dedicated his life to helping teens at risk (survivors of childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse).
Secular Information
Recognizing Healthy and Unhealthy Sexual Development in Children
by Phil Rich, Ed.D., MSW
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/child_behavior/sexdev.html
In an age when childhood sexual abuse and victimization is increasingly on our minds, it is important for parents (and other caretakers) to understand what is "normal" sexual development and behavior in children and teenagers, and which behaviors might signal that a child is a victim of sexual abuse, or acting in a sexually aggressive manner towards others.
In fact, sexual development and sexual play are natural and healthy processes in children, from toddlers through childhood and into adolescence. For infants and toddlers, this usually involves body sensations, cuddling and touch, and playing with toys. Even in the earliest of days, babies and toddlers touch and rub their own genitals, and even as infants boys experience erections. By early school age (5-7), children are interested in body parts and functions. Some sexual play may begin, and concepts of love and affection begin to develop, evolving into behaviors and questions that continue developing into later childhood (8-9 years old).
Pre-adolescent children (ages 10-12) are more focused on social relationships and expectations, and begin to experience clearer sexual feelings. Children touch, fondle, and rub their own genitals throughout childhood, but they begin to more clearly masturbate during this time, developing clearer patterns into and beyond puberty (ages 12/13 and up). By puberty and adolescence, body parts and sexual organs are clearly developing, and puberty brings the onset of menstruation in girls and more routine masturbation for both boys and girls, and especially boys. As children move deeper into adolescence, romance, intimacy, and sexual issues are driven by and blend with physical feelings, emotions, and social expectations. Dating and more intense sexual relationships begin and deepen, moving from thinking about and discussing romances, to dating, kissing, sexual petting, and, in many cases, sexual relationships and intercourse.
But it is important to distinguish between age appropriate and age inappropriate sexual behaviors. Many children engage in sexual behaviors and show sexual interests throughout their entire childhood, even though they have not yet reached puberty. However, normative (or expected) sexual behaviors are usually not overtly sexual, are more exploratory and playful in nature, do not show a preoccupation with sexual interactions, and are not hostile, aggressive, or hurtful to self or others.
Appropriate and Inappropriate Childhood Sexuality
Like other areas of growth, children's sexual behavior develops over time, and many behaviors are normal for children at certain ages. On the other hand, there are sexual behaviors about which we should be concerned, are worrisome, and should not be ignored or seen as child's play. Other sexual behaviors are more serious and may be dangerous to the child and others. Nevertheless, when a child engages in sexual behaviors, it can be difficult to decide when the behavior is natural and healthy, and when it may reflect a problem or disturbance.
The normative behaviors of childhood and adolescence are of concern when they are extensive or suggest preoccupation, or involve others in ways that are not consensual. That is, sexual behaviors in children present a special concern when they appear as prominent features in a child's life, or when sexual play or behaviors are not welcomed by other children involved in the play. This is the point at which sexually harmful and aggressive behaviors most closely and clearly hinges.
Sexually Reactive Children
"Sexually Reactive" children are pre-pubescent boys and girls who have been exposed to, or had contact with, inappropriate sexual activities. The sexually reactive child may engage in a variety of age-inappropriate sexual behaviors as a result of his or her own exposure to sexual experiences, and may begin to act out, or engage in, sexual behaviors or relationships that include excessive sexual play, inappropriate sexual comments or gestures, mutual sexual activity with other children, or sexual molestation and abuse of other children.
Inappropriate Sexual Exposure
For children aged below 11, we consider all forms of sexual exposure inappropriate, and especially for children aged 10 and younger. This includes:
all forms of sexual activity with adolescents and adults
viewing pornography or other sexually explicit material
witnessing sexual behaviors between adults, adolescents, or other children
excessive sexual play with a same age or older child who has more sophisticated sexual knowledge
any situation in which a child is exposed to explicit sexual materials outside of an educational experience taught by qualified staff
Inappropriate Sexual Behaviors
Sexually reactive children may react to their exposure to sexual activities by:
demonstrating precocious sexualized activities, gestures, language, and knowledge
engaging in extensive mutual sexual play with same age or younger children
engaging in excessive masturbation or demonstrating a preoccupation with sexual activities and ideas
engaging in sexual behaviors in public, such as sexual exposure, rubbing, or masturbation
interest in or attempting sexual contact with older children, adolescents, adults, or animals
engaging in or attempting significant sexual encounters with same age or younger children, including masturbation, oral sex, digital penetration, and intercourse
sexually molesting other, and especially younger, children
Signs of Sexual Disturbance
Toni Cavanagh Johnson, a psychologist specializing in childhood sexual development, lists signs of concern in children up to the age of about 12:
Children should not be preoccupied with sexual play, and should engage in many other forms of play
Children should not engage in sexual play with much younger or much older children
Children should not have precocious knowledge of sex beyond their age
Children's sexual behaviors and interests should be similar to those of other same-age children
Children should not be "driven" to engage in sexual activities, and be able to stop when told to by an adult
Children's sexual play should not lead to complaints from or have a negative effect on other children, and should not cause physical or emotional discomfort to themselves or others
Children should not sexualize relationships, or see others as objects for sexual interactions
Children aged 4 and older should understand the rights and boundaries of other children in sexual play
Children should not experience fear, shame, or guilt in their sexual play
Children should not engage in adult-type sexual activities with other children
Children should not direct sexual behaviors toward older adolescents or adults
Children should not engage in sexual activities with animals
Children should not use sex to hurt others
Children should not use bribery, threats, or force to engage other children in sexual play
There are many excellent books and other publications that explain and discuss healthy sexual development in children and adolescents. Parents who have questions about sexual behavior in children should take the time to learn about sexual development in their child, and be aware of the possibility of sexual difficulties.
References:
Araji, Sharon K. (1997) "Sexually Aggressive Children." Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
Cavanaugh Johnson, Toni. (1999). "Understanding Your Child's Sexual Behavior." Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
De Freitas, Chrystal (1998). "Keys to Your Child's Healthy Sexuality." Hauppauge, NY: Barrons Educational Series.
Haffner, Debra W. (2000). "From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children." New York: Newmarket Press.
Salter, Anna C. (1988). "Treating Child Sex Offenders and Victims." Newburry Park, CA: Sage Publications.
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